Follow
Share

I've had DPOA for my mom now for over a year and since went to a new attorney with my mom and dad and we did all that was needed for both of them. DPOA, guardian, living wills, etc. All with clear directives as to what they wish to do. Which is to stay together in their home for as long as they can and then move in with my hubby and me. We have a large house and they can have a separate suite for themselves. My mom fell ill and got pneumonia and is doing much better now. They both have mild dementia. My dad goes to the grocery store daily and cooks evening meals. Goes gambling on Saturday for about 6/7 hours. My brother who live in NJ(and had seen them once in 44 yrs) called the hospital and tried to get my mom put into a nursing home and told them my dad couldn't do anything for himself! So Social Services called me and I told them that was not true and about all the papers we had drawn up. They actually drilled me with questions and even asked if we were financially strapped! I said absolutely not! We are putting a new roof on my parents home, new a/c and doors, windows. Plus a new kitchen and bath plus flooring. I told them that I am taking her home and that there is nothing wrong with my dad. And that my hubby and I are there daily and i take care of my mom by taking her to her doctors, giving her her meds, etc. So my question would be, does Social Services have the right to over ride everything and just do what they want with my parents? I know my brother told them a bunch of lies and I'm not sure if they're listening to him. When it's time to release my mom, can I just go there and take her home?
Thanks for your help.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Jeannegibbs is right. Social Services did their job. They have to, if there is a complaint, because what they were getting at in asking you questions happens more frequently than we like to think.

It sounds to me that you will be fine. They may want to follow up with you. Just be polite and show that you have nothing to hide.

It's terribly sad when a family members lie to SS - but again more common than we'd like to think. The fact that your brother hasn't seen your parents in all of these years should hold some weight, In the end, I doubt that you have anything to worry about.

Unless you've been told that you can't take your mom home, I see no reason why you can't.

Please update us when you can. We'd like to know how you are doing.
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sandi, my sibs also reported me to Adult Protective Services for financial exploitation of not only my Mom, but her hubby as well. I cannot begin to tell you how hurt I was by this. At that time I had been caring for both of them for more than a year, that was three years ago now. APS closed the case within about six weeks, it only took that long because, they told me they have many cases that require their attention and are emergency situations. In fact, the investigator gave me a big hug the last time I saw him telling me he loves cases like this. There was nothing even remotely resembling financial exploitation, only vindictive, spiteful siblings. Now it is a crime in my state for anybody to file false reports with Social Services.

As Jeanne and Carol say APS is required by law to investigate any report within 72 hours. When I was investigated I fully cooperated, offered information, gave them access to my Mom and her hubby. Had I not cooperated that would have looked suspicious, just be as helpful and cooperative as you can.

Why did my sibs do this? I will never know but suspect they thought I would run for the hills. That would have been the worst thing I could have possibly done! Talk about looking guilty.

I am proud to say that following the investigation I provided another three years of care for the folks, a total of four years for the same reason, to keep them together as long as possible. The end of May this year both were moved to a community, same one, different areas due to Mom's Alzheimer's, but they still have lunch together daily.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Social Services or Adult Protective Services is obligated to investigate claims of neglect or abuse of vulnerable adults (such as those with dementia). They got such a claim from your brother. They investigated. They did their job.

Of course no government agency has the right to "do whatever they want" with your parents. There would have to be considerable due process for them to take over guardianship.

At the end of your conversation with Social Services, what did they say about future contacts? Do you have any reason to think there may be obstacles to taking Mom home?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Sandi, I can't add much to the answers you've received, but I do have a comment on dealing with your brother, if you're up to being aggressive.

Perhaps he thinks you're getting paid for and/or profiting financially, or perhaps there are long standing issues between him and you. Regardless, not having seen your parents in 44 years, he has no on site experience on which to base his complaints.

My approach to meddlers is that they need to be put in their place ASAP to stop any further meddling. What I did in the past when a relative was meddling in my father's affairs is to locate a Michigan statutory provision that would interpret her behavior as harassment. Then I sent her an e-mail advising that if she didn't stop her behavior, pursuant to the Michigan statute, I would take action as allowed. That including requesting a PPO to prevent her from contacting my father again. Of course she was livid and responded with a vicious e-mail, but she got the message.

I don't believe in allowing people to intimidate me. I have enough of that to deal with from the code enforcement people in the city.

There's an easier way though, and that's to ask the attorney who prepared the estate planning documents to send a letter advising him that his verbal misrepresentations against you, inferentially, and of your parents to SS MAY constitute slander (since they implied you're not and/or will not be providing proper care to your parents).

This is a stretch legally, and an attorney may not want to make those kinds of representations, but may just advise him politely and in legal terms to mind his own business.

Either way, I would think that he'll get the message to leave your parents alone.

You might want to push the issue a little bit more and thank him for his concern, adding that you're glad he's at last taking an interest in your parents. Further, you presume this is an indication he wants to be involved.

Then ask him specifically what he plans to do to help, emphasizing (true or not) that financial needs are a high priority. Ask him when you can expect a financial contribution from him to help pay for your parents. If you want to push it, e-mail him regularly with the same request.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Thank you all for the terrific help. I now see how SS got involved in this! I kind of had a feeling. This is the second time he has done this to me. I don't want to act like him or his wife with those horrible comments. But I do want him to stop asap. He is doing nothing but making my parents worry all of the time. I am taking my paperwork in the hospital today and demanding to know what meds they're giving my mom. She can hardly speak. Very slurred. So I know it's something to keep her asleep. I will take a bit of everyone's advice and do what needs to be done. No more Mrs. Nice Girl! Can I file for a restraining order? I don't see the need in my parents being upset like this in their elder years.
Thanks again. This is a great forum. So much support. (((((HUGS)))))
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Sandi, you can absolutely try to get a restraining order. I don't know what the procedure is in Florida, but I'll share some info on what we did here in Michigan.

I drafted the Petition on behalf of my parents, citing briefly all the reasons why they needed to be protected from this particular individual. In your case, I would cite the stress, anxiety, resulting ill health, jeopardy to your parents' health physically and mentally, and position of the hospital staff to medicate your mother if she has been given any meds to calm or soothe her.

I would cite as many incidents as I could, as you want to show a pattern of behavior rather than just one incident.

At that time, my petition was enough. Now there are different petitions for different purposes - some familial, some domestic for spouses, some domestic for nonspouses.

One of the attorneys in the PPO office reviewed my Petition, may have made a few changes, and then sent us to the judge handling PPOs that day. In her court, I approached her court clerk, who took the Petition to the judge, who made some changes, but did grant the PPO.

Then I went to the Sheriff's office as they were responsible for service. At the time it was either $20 or $30 for service. That was back in 2000 or 2001.

Be sure to take the powers of attorney with you as you'll be needing them to file on behalf of your parents.

You can ask for denial of contact by mail, phone, electronic device, in person, within a certain radius of their home, etc. Since your brother isn't in the area, the phone and electronic contacts would be the most important.

What you can't do is prevent him from contacting the hospital, although if you provide them with a copy of your parent's medical POAs as well as a HIPAA authorization form that the hospital uses, the hospital will be prevented from giving him any information. That notation would likely be put on your parents' charts.

What you can't do is prevent him from contacting APS, as you have no standing on their behalf. However, if you do get a PPO against him for your parents, and he calls to make a false report again, bring out your PPO and explain why you had to get it.

If he continues to call APS, they may take some action of their own, such as referring him to police for filing false and/or fraudulent reports.

Good luck. Let us know how everything works out, and in the meantime I hope your mother gets well very quickly.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thanks GardenArtist. You gave me a lot of help with my petition.
I will do just that. My mom actually wants this done. Odd thing is he was a corrections officer and now retired. My youngest daughter is also a Deputy Sheriff in our county. I will also the HIPPA form to stop him. He seems to contact all the Dr.s and tells them what he wants done. So far, the hospital is listening to me and not giving her any crazy meds.
She is getting better every day and will be home before long.
My eldest daughter said to block him from calling their home.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I love to tell that story! I KNOW how stressful it is to be wrongfully accused. And the sad part about it is that one sib, that has Mom's POA's, access to all her financial information, accounts, everything and KNEW this was not occurring decided to waste the time of APS.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mom is on dialysis, depends on my for her meals, medications, bathing dressing and grooming, laundry, transportation, etc and social services keeps denying her services. What step should I take next in Va?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.