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Almost a year and a half ago my mother was diagnosed with mild neurocognitive disorder. She was around 47. She is now 49 and has been diagnosed with mild dementia. However, we are still fighting to get her benefits. In the beginning she had to file disability herself because I was still in college, she was getting divorced, and literally had no one to help her. I have graduated and move back home to help her. Why are they being so cruel about this? Is there anyone else out there with a similar issue or some advice.

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SSI is not an agency but is a financial program run by Social Security. SSI is for financially needy people who are disabled. So, you have to prove the case on both parts, financial and disability. Even with a diagnosis that show she has a disability she may not qualify financially. If she meets the disability requirements (expected to be disabled 12+months) and not financially needy, she should apply for SSDI, not SSI. If she is still woring and making over the amount considered Substantial Gainful Activity which is, this year, I think. $1176 per month. What are her circumstances? And treating her situation as being treated cruelly is not ptoductive.
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You need to talk to the office Ashe applied for SSI. My nephew had to apply for SSI and when he was denied, we went for Social Security Disability. You can get a SS lawyer and he gets paid after she is OKd for SSD. He gets paid by Social Security. He can't bill Mom. If she is OKd, she will get Medicare and Medicaid as secondary.
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I'm so sorry you and your mother are dealing with this! My brother was in a car accident and could certainly not continue in his line of work that involved installing heavy window glass on upper floors in skyscrapers. But he got the "well, couldn't he work at something else? Something non-physical? Clerk in a grocery store, for example?" He was in constant pain. Who wants an employee who wears a bag of frozen peas around his neck and groans out loud frequently? Oh, and can't stand for more than a half an hour at a time? My brother did get SSI, after Medicaid approved him.

Most people I've talked to who got SSI have had to apply more than once. Sad, but that is how it is. Don't give up!
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They aren't being cruel- but I can certainly understand why you feel that way. But seriously- it's not personal.

It is due to the large number of people who attempt to scam the system. I'd be willing to bet almost everyone knows of someone on SSI that still manages to do yard work, work on their cars, take vacations that involve hiking, swimming, camping etc. Thus SSI has become notoriously difficult to get. There are even businesses out there that - that is what they do - guide and advise people on how to qualify for SSI benefits.

Personally, between the ages of 40-50 I had three failed back surgeries. I pretty much exist on pain medication all day long - I have for 15 years when my back first started to fall apart which lead to permanent nerve damage effecting my legs and my lack of ability to walk any distance or stand for too long. On the other hand I can't sit or lay for too long either - fun times. Still, I have never considered applying for SSI just because I know what a torturous process it is. I'm lucky though, my husband makes a good salary and I was smart with my money back when I was making it. Not everyone is as fortunate as I am.

Since your mother is so young I think the process will be extra difficult for her - and you. Is your mother on Medicaid by any chance? Sometimes if you have either Medicaid or SSI it is easier to get the other.

I'm assuming you have all the medical documentation you need saying it is impossible for your mother to work - at any job. Keep in mind that just having the diagnosis of dementia does not mean automatic acceptance- since it is a progressive disease the SSI people may believe she is still able to work - especially if your moms diagnosis at this time is defined as "mild".  Also keep in mind that the SSI people don't count not being able to work in a previously held type of job - they ask is there any type of work this person could be doing. Again - not meant to be cruel but meant to cut down on fraud.

I'd say, if it's important for your mom to receive SSI to get by - make sure her medical documents are in order and keep at it. You may want to look into using one of the businesses I mentioned before- ones that are experts in this process.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this - and at such as young age, both you and your mom. The diagnosis in and of itself must be hard enough without having to fight for SSI.
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