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My Mom, who has dementia, fell 3 weeks ago. She lives alone and the neighbor found her. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks and we fought like crazy to get her into a care facility. Long story short, the social workers and case worker said that it was faster to send her home and do an emergency assessment on her and that they should be able to get mom into a care facility in a week or two. Mom came home and on Tuesday the assessment was done and they said that mom is 100% fine to live on her own with help. We were flat out lied to and are wondering if anyone else has encountered this kind of flat out lie and what can we do about it?! Thanks in advance!

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Keep pushing! They will try to wear you down. I went through this with a relative who was in and out of the hospital. They too kept saying things like "She will do fine if she has family helping her." She didn't want to go to a rehab facility even though she had a BROKEN BACK, so she kept lying to the care planner and telling them she had PLENTY of help at home with family coming and going. I had to sit down with the care planner and tell her this was ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE. Had to do this every time she was hospitalized. We went through this over and over for a year. She is finally in an AL facility.
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This is our medical system in the 21st century. It’s disgusting.
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Dear Wendufer,

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened to your mom. I know its hard to see her in this condition and worrying for her safety. I would see if you could escalate this further with the social worker and tell them you do not agree with the assessment. And request another person do the assessment. I hope you can get the help your mom needs. I know its tough. Thinking of you.
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Patient Advocate at the hospital? Sounds like she needs an inpatient psych eval
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I would follow up with her doctor, and he/she could make a recommendation as to what level of care your mom needs, and assessing her level of competency. If her doctor recommends a care facility, be sure to get a written statement from their office to that effect also, and have them give you a referral letter for insurance purposes. The letter will also be useful in the event that you would need to seek guardianship over your mother should it be determined that she is incapacitated.
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Were you or someone else from the family there for the assessment?

Did mom tell them that she can do everything for herself and that she has loads of family helping her out?

What help do you think mom needs? Does she agree?
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Thanks for all of the replies, in September of 2017 I got Social workers and Older Adult mental health case worker involved because my Mom is at home on her own and we could see that she has Dementia, CT ,cog tests etc done,and huge personal changes in her

3 days before the 3 week hospital stay she ended up in the hospital for high blood pressure 270/77 yikes ,she took 2 days of meds at once ,by not remembering!

Then she fell at home which we thought would be a good thing in a bad way because we had meetings in hospital with Moms social worker ,hospital social worker, etc and they assured us that mom would not be going home,

In hospital mom assaulted 2 nurses (bad) and took off all her clothes and climbed into bed with 3 other patients, we were shocked mad sad it was one thing after another!

They kept her for 3 weeks because they were trying to stabilize her meds , tried a anti psychotic med ,and increased others

On Tuesday the social workers and Older Adult mental health case worker came to the house talked Mom ,said that home support would be provided ,go to mom's 3 times a day ,give meds ,assist with bathing ,do light meals ,and they said that mom would be fine on her own ,since then mom has wandered off ,started smoking ,and is very confused and upset by the new faces coming into her house ,she has also been able to figure out the combo to the lock box for her meds ,our family can see a disaster in the making and there seems to be nothing we can do about it

Unfortunately there is no one within the hospital that provides discharge support ,all of that has been discontinued due to cut backs etc
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Maybe they are having a hard time finding a care facility that wants to take your mom. Many care facilities protect their selves first and foremost.
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Wendufer, thanks for sharing the back story. This is much different from a fall; I can understand the frustration you feel at not being able to get help. Unfortunately, I think that the assessments might not have been for the proper diagnosis and appropriate help needed. It seems as though the advice of being able to be cared for at home was either premature, or inaccurate, or both.

It also sounds as if some type of medication is appropriate to control her challenging and inappropriate behavior, IT this is more or less standard and wasn't just a one time thing at the hospital, and I do think also that it was unwise and unrealistic to suggest that she could be cared for at home.

Are there any treating physicians who are more familiar with the behavior, someone who has a longer term familiarity with your mother and could assist you in finding, perhaps, a memory care placement? Do you have a psychiatrist who could help with stabilizing meds? I have the feeling the hospital staff was more or less experimenting to try to find an appropriate med, but really didn't have the resources.

I don't know whether that hospital had a secure ward, but I think that's where she should have been, for her own safety.

And I think someone should be raising the issue of Medicaid for funding.
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I would have her see another Dr.
my mom was recently discharged she has FFL dementia and cannot care for herself. MasonicRe sent her home to my 81 yr old father and we haven’t seen any home care in 3 weeks because the dr went on vacation so my poor mother suffers because of connecticare.... we won’t be going to the dr till tomorrow (finally!!) drs need their vacations!!) trust me I am beyond exhausted tired depressed but I am using humor to cope. Please excuse me.
I digress, please get another drs opinion so your mother can get the help she needs...
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