My mom is 76 and was diagnosed with dementia 3years ago. She was at home with us but always scared and paranoid hallucinating that people were calling her names. She was incontinent and only just able to feed herself. I showered her changed her nappies and picked her up when she fell over. She had been going 3 days a week for 4 hours to aged care respite and liking it when she fell in the hall way and broke 4 ribs. She was in hospital for 4 weeks while they managed pain and reassessed her medication. Her decline was swift. She couldn't walk without 2 people that help her or feed herself. She could communicate but not well. They told us we had to put her into respite and consider full time care. I didn't have the heart to tell her what was happening so told her it was rehab so she could learn to walk. That was over 12 months ago and again her decline was rapid. She no longer talks except for gibberish words. She no longer knows me or my Dad despite both of us going to feed her lunch and dinner daily. She is completely immobile and can't even sit up by herself. She does know my brother and my niece when they visit each week. She sleeps a lot and doesn't eat a lot. I don't know how close it is for her but it is hard to watch her
My Mom 89 has Alzheimer's. I feel it surfaced when my father died. They were married 63 years. Was such a shock to her. She sleeps a lot lately. Does anyone experience talking and moaning while they sleep. This is hard to watch your Mom go through. I am trying so hard to keep her out of nursing home. I feel I am failing. Each day harder to care for, as I say with tears in my eyes.
Jenifer51- I don't see where anyone has posted on here in a while, however I understand what you are dealing with. I don't have siblings and my Mom can at times seem with it around others but with me she takes out all her frustrations. I am her care giver and wanted to keep her with me for as long as possible to make her life comfortable. She is mobile and dresses herself and bathes and still knows who we are. She does have episodes of anger though and always directed at me. I tell myself that part of her is not the mother I always had, yet it is still very difficult. I take it one day at a time. I watched my grandmother and aunt go through this. They also loved their sons and took out their anger on the girls. Its a cruel way to loose our parent.
My dad is 91 and has Vascular Dementia. He fell twice after Christmas and broke his shoulder and the top of his femeur having a pin and plate put in on New Years day. He was discharged on Feb 28 and has come to live with us as he can't see to himself now. We have support 4 times a day to get him up washed and dressed, try him with the toilet then last call to put him to bed at night. He loves his newspaper and seems to read this most of the day. But he does nod off to sleep in between times. He sleeps at night but does wake to go to the toilet - this can be up to 4 times a night every 2-3 hours. We gave an alarm pad in the bed allowing me to wake and get up when he is out of bed. Apart from his news paper he gad vety little interest in TV. Music or even visitors as he won't part with his paper for anyone ad if you can get him to put it one side he will fall asleep. At night time he has a fixation with lights and gas to turn them off all the time. I've purchased night lights tgst come on when it gets dark but he has found these and takes them out of the sockets. Evenings are a constant battle with him to keep lights on till the carers come in to put dad to bed then we switch all the viable lights off.
Just wonder if anyone else has thus problem with lights?
The sadest part of being a care giver is the lack of help from family members. No calls no visuts with exception of Christmas. A brother and his wife live 1 hour 45 minutes away from their mom and constantly say they wish they could do more but can’t due to church, grandkids and distance. Yet when we speak with them they tell us about their trips, trips and visits with friends, parties they’ve hosted all tequiring them to miss church, be away from grandchildren and require more driving time. It’s a choice not to be here to play an active roll in my in laws life’s. Not one grandchild picks up the phone to call much less mustard up a visit. I wish I could actively walk away to push others to participate but the joke would be on me. I know how alone and bitter you can become when the responsibility falls solely on your shoulders. My mom in law has behavioral issues that makes her unbearable at times yet within the same breath steal your heart. I also hear and carry the pain she feels because she’s not called or visited. She practically lived with one of hers sons house when they had an infant child born with severe health issues losing her at the age of 4. Being an (in law ) looking into the family dynamics of this family blows my mind. Basically my mom in law has become invisible to family members. Even at Christmas I have to remind people to speak to her and include her in the conversation weather she can or cannot take active participation in the conversation. I know this website is designed to give answers to others seeking help. But I read your post and felt we had a lot in common. It’s the first and only time I’ve chose to participate in open conversations such as this. But I’m wore out physically and emotionally and as I suspect with you this is a very small view of what we live with daily. This is only my frustration with family it doesn’t begin to include the daily task of caring for someone with dementia and the emotional roller coaster we live with daily. I wish you peace and happiness. Because in my situation it’s not going to come from my mom in law who blames me for everything yet I’m her only constant. And like your mom....she’s a sweet southern belle in the presence of others yet changes the minute their gone. I’ve quit searching for comfort from her....yet pray for it daily
She sleeps a lot lately. Does anyone experience talking and moaning while they sleep. This is hard to watch your Mom go through. I am trying so hard to keep her out of nursing home. I feel I am failing. Each day harder to care for, as I say with tears in my eyes.
Just wonder if anyone else has thus problem with lights?