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She refuses to bathe, won't wear pants...refuses to take diabetic and other meds. She urinates and poops herself. I am very small and cannot lift her and her son is always working outside of the home. We can't get her to go to the doctors, she just wants to die. Where do we begin, we are so frustrated. What groups or agencies do I contact for help. I also work full time away from home.

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Agree with Pam. If she just wants to die you say, ah, okay, we're going to call Hospice. And take her for the evaluation.

She gets a choice. Go to the doctor gor a hospice evaluation or go to the doctor to get her general health, including mental health, evaluated. She doesn't want to do anything? " no mom, that's not one of the choices"
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Ask her if she wants Hospice. They can evaluate her and she can stop all the meds and simply stop living. I have a feeling that is not her real intention, though, she is more likely depressed and bored. Ask her MD if he/she can send a visiting nurse to check on her.
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Sounds like it is time for Mom-in-law to have paid caregivers helping her, as sometimes an elder will listen to someone who isn't a family member.
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