We have lived here in Maryland as her caregivers since last July when my husbands sisters wanted to put their mom in a assisted living home. We had been spending a third of each year visiting/staying with her for years now so we decided to say yes when she asked if we would live with her for the rest of her life. My husband and I have always been committed to helping her remain in her home. She has always said that most of all she wants to stay in her home. My sister-in-laws did not want us to move in and take care of her as they had picked out a facility and decided that would be best. They both told her doctor in August that they did not think we were appropriate caregivers, but the doctor said as long as we provided constant supervision she thought it would be good for my mother-in-law to stay in her home. The three of us have gotten along wonderfully and until her recent decline and uncommunicative state she has thanked us daily for taking such good care of her. I love my mother-in-law dearly and we have a special bond I will miss when she is gone.
Her house that we live in is in all three children's names. She put the house in the children's names years ago for inheritance reasons. All three children have POA. Originally just my husband was POA, but one of the daughters took her to a different attorney to get a new POA around the time she was diagnosed with dementia. The new POA listed all three children equally which has caused numerous problems over the past year. My mother-in-law is 89 and has had health issues for years. In addition to dementia, she has heart problems which meant invasive diagnostic procedures were avoided in the past. While hospitalized in the end of March 2014 she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer that had metastasized to the liver and lungs. Since being discharged we have remained with her in her home as her Hospice caregivers. Now she is in the final stages of the dying process. My husband is worried that his sisters will demand we leave the house immediately or even try to throw us out when his mom dies. While we still own our home in another state we have moved many of our belongings here over the past 101/2 months. We also have developed close ties to the community. My husband grew up here and has many friends. Our support network is here. We would like to remain here for a while after his Mom passes to regroup and regather ourselves with friends, our church family, and Hospice support. I imagine we will need some downtime before tackling moving.
One of his sisters is very bitter and dislikes me to the point of sending hate email. She has done everything possible to get us to leave and put their mom in a home prior to her terminal diagnosis. She is in her late 60's and we think she is in the early stages of dementia; it is prevalent in her family on both sides. We know she will not make things easy for us after mom dies. Can she have us thrown out of the house when their mother dies? Is there anything we can do to prevent such action?