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My Dad's original POA was brother, who became ill, I took over a shared POA, HCP with sister a few years ago. My husband & did all the heavy lifting, caregiver, finances, dr appt, medical records etc but always kept all siblings in the loop. Dad had Dx of dementia, needing more & more care, his facility wanted him in the skilled nursing side, he was currently in independent living, knowing his finances he couldn't afford round the clock care, I agreed, they did not. After a year of push back, interfering, second guessing, (yet little but complaining) my husband said step down let them take over.
Per attorney's advice I changed or clsd joint accounts & clsd anything in my name, moved all to a new bank acct in his name direct deposits etc & gave them spreadsheet with instructions, should have been complete by end of month. Before end of mo, they took my Father to bank clsd out all his accounts had him sign codicil to will, naming 1 as POA, & demanded statements etc. Through his facility found out they reported me to APS for financial misconduct & fraud, total disbelief and shock. That point my atty, told me unless asked by agency do not give them anything. Besides, I couldn't get anything from the clsd acct, had to get bank to mail me. (The agency dropped claim, because nothing was there)
Fast forward, due their misjudgment he was sent to ER twice, hospitalized, and eventually moved to skilled nursing side anyway. I had a good relationship with staff and they were flabbergasted when they blocked any information giving, found out they moved him back to his apartment last week, 1 moved in with him for 30 days (?), changed his primary doctor, too
I've looked into getting a mediator, stop their nasty emails, name calling and accusations, without much luck, on one hand happy I did step away but not happy with what they are doing to him. Ideas?

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As bad as this seems, it has the potential to get even worse. I've seen elders end up under guardianship when the adult children could not agree. One kid does something, the next goes in and undoes it. It's only a matter of time before the nursing home, banks, etc., throw up their hands and say "We don't know who to listen to!"

Does your father have an attorney? Elder / family mediation could be helpful. You will have your list of issues, they will have theirs, and a mediator could help you keep the focus on what's best for your dad, and come up with a plan for how to get there.
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