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My father has dementia. I live with him and have POA and HPOA. My 2 sisters don't do anything to help me but want to start trouble all the time. My oldest sister had the rehab center where my father currently is recovering from a hospital stay remove my name as emergency contact and replace it with hers and my cousin. I gave the facility the paperwork from the attorney when my father arrived. I am POA and HPOA with another person and we get along great when it comes to caring for my father. I already left my home with my sons and my husband to live with my father. Neither of them have children at home and are not married. I don't know what to do.

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All the advice given here is excellent. I will add something.

Unless your sisters start paying your bills or your father's bills pay your sisters no mind.

Next time the drama starts tell them to "kiss my A-- twice" and just end it.
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Reply to Jhalldenton
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Every hospital, facility and doctors office had a copy of my POAs on file. The hospital had it on their admitting screen there was a POA and who.

You need to givevthe facility copies. Inform them that you are the only one and other POA they talk to.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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If it's true that a sister had herself inserted as emergency contact with the rehab and removed you, it's time to take this up with the rehab. Demand to know how they could do that when you have POA and HPOA and even gave them the paperwork. Someone there may need to be fired, because this a major issue and you have a legitimate complaint. Ask the lawyer what to do. A stern letter from an attorney might impress the facility greatly, if anyone there can read.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Yes, have an attorney contact them to stop the crap.

You can also have the attorney suggest THEY come and take care of dad on their own in his home while you go back to your family, if they are unhappy with the way you are caring for dad.

I'll bet that shuts them up right away.
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Reply to notgoodenough
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waytomisery Aug 4, 2025
I did that too , but on my own . My sister said she could not possibly take care of them because she was newly retired and traveling. To be clear , I had never asked her for help . But told her she’s welcome to take them with her to her one story home. She said No .

I worked and still had a teenager at home , who did not drive yet . Sister thought It was fine that I would have to leave work to take parents to doctors , swing by the high school to pick up my daughter after play rehearsal , on the way back .
Meanwhile my parents still in my car were asking “ what’s for dinner? ”.

My sister would also literally laugh at me and say she was glad I was the one “ stuck taking care of them “.

This sister also insisted on a phone call each night while Dad was dying . A phone chain I set up wasn’t good enough , I told her drive the 3 hours and see for herself.

Needless to say I don’t speak to this sister
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Yes,
an attorney like already suggested.
My sister tried this multiple times as well , I finally told her if she tried it again , I would not allow her to visit our parents . It worked .
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Reply to waytomisery
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You need to make it clear that your sisters are doing illegal and nefarious moves to insert themselves as contacts. You need to do this everywhere, from every entity that cares for your elder, on. I would see an attorney to find out best how to protect your elder from this interference. The POA pays for this expert advice.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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ShanniePooh727 Aug 4, 2025
Thank you. I will make sure that I do that moving forward.
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