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My mom moved in with me four months ago. She had been living with my sister for 19 years. She moved in with her when she had a baby and got divorced. Her son was stealing from my mother and they kept saying my mom has dementia that her son would not do that. I know he was doing drugs to what extent I don't know. Things were tough for my mom and she was very nervous and stressed. I said she could live with me. She said I didn't have the room. I put my two boys in one room and moved her in. We then turned the toy room into a bedroom so they could all have their own rooms.

My sister has complained that she took care of my mother when in fact it was my mother who cooked and cleaned and took care of her kid(s) she remarried and when all this fighting started my mother stopped cooking and cleaning. My nephew needed a car so my sister told my mom she didn't have to give her $600 a month anymore and she told my mom should could use that to get a new car. I feel that now that my sister has no use for my mother she wanted her out.

Her youngest is 11 and my mom took care of him so my sister and her husband could work. My mother gave her 60 K for this new house 12 years ago.Then last year my sister started working from home and only had to go into office once a month. She didn't need my mom to be there for her kid anymore. My other sister wants to put a lien on her house. I honestly don't think legally we could go after her since there is nothing in writing about what or why she gave her the money. Can we put a lien? Can my mother get some money back?

Thank you.

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Hm. Your lien-suggesting sister has nothing to do with anything. What does your mother want to do?

The thing is, if she paid $60K towards the purchase of a house that she then lived in, contributing substantially to the household income every month, for 12 years - would that not give her any claim to equity in the house at all? Granted there's no record of what the money was for, her bank will still have records of how much was paid to your sister and when. Having said that, I wouldn't fancy trying to get anything back. Clearly things must be pretty bad between the house-sister and your mother, and if they get worse - which they probably would - it'll be your mother who's made more miserable by it.

I also have to say, that your house-sister is an ungrateful little swine with a short memory. Only then I have to say that on the other hand 19 years is an awfully long time to have your mother living with you. I'm just sorry that things went so sour for your mother. She didn't deserve to be treated like that, and it's very sad.

Um. Have you looked ahead? Do your mother a favour and start thinking about her old age care now; because if things went wrong for her twice I'm not sure she could take it. May you be happy! - I'm not suggesting you won't take brilliant care of her. It's just that loving, unselfish daughters get worn out too - so have a back up plan.
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It was your mother's money. What standing does your sister have to lien the house? Were any of the funds hers?

I don't see how your other sister has any standing at all to lien the house for money which she did not contribute.
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I think the lien minded sister is wasting everyone's time and adrenaline. Let it go. Sorry if she feels short changed in the overall accounting but it's a bit late to switch on the drama button. Maybe the sister who got the 60k is in a position now to help with mom's expenses. Ask her. If that doesn't go anywhere, just let it be water under the bridge. It can only get ugly.
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Not a chance, you will not get a lien, it was a gift. Not happening.
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