Mom made me POA of financial and health decisions in 2011. She has dementia now and my sister went to attorney and had POA changed.

Butterfly, I was accused of all types of financial exploitation, what sibling POA wanted was for me to run. Not on your life, I had done nothing wrong but had I run that is what everybody would have thought. But now the courts have, finally shifted the focus to sibling and actions taken. HOORAY! It is about freaking time! Two years of this now.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Isn't it a shame what siblings can do to each other when there is $ and property involved. I went through the same thing and it is not pleasant. I did have a nervous breakdown over the situation and when someone lies about what you're doing or accuses you of untrue behavior, I took the high road and ran, always keeping an eye on what kind of care my Dad was getting. It becomes malicious and hurtful. God bless all you caregivers who are doing the Lord's work for Him here on earth. Hugs.

There are lots of us out here. My mom wanted to change her POA's a year ago. She has dementia and the attorney would not make the change. So, yes to court for guardianship and conservatorship.

OMG, that is so hitting home right now. I just finished writing a 10 page letter to the Guardian Ad Litem that is taking away my sisters POA, after 8 court proceedings they have assigned a Guardian and Conservator for my mom already. My sister was the primary caregiver and my brother wanted control of mom's assets. He has told lie after lie about my sister. Long story, but I feel like I may have a nervous break down before this is all over. Going back to Michigan for the hearing....the 8th one. This has taken a toll on my mom who has advanced stages of dementia, which accelerated it due to the stress caused by my brother. It has been a very expensive battle and of course the courts are happy to suck in another victim into the Guardian system. Very costly as well. The Guardian came and took mom from her home a month ago, she is not doing well. So sad, I have done everything I can to help my sister and my mom. They are in Michigan and I am in Florida. Good luck. I don't feel so alone now knowing that others are in the same position.

Unfortunately, it looks like you will need to hire an attorney and possibly seek legal guardianship and/or conservatorship of your mother. All the facts will come out under oath during the hearing, and the judge will render a decision, hopefully in your favor.

If your mother was Not declared incompetent along/her diagnosis, your sister is POA.
If your mother was declared incompetent, then you are POA, and your sister has made an illegal move.
The law doesn't care about moral conduct...as we found out.
The older siblings had her sign her POA in the dining room of her house, I witnessed tat part against her will. She ended up initialing it in the lawyers office of a lawyer she had never been to, that her oldest child took her for lunch and it is his attorney
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If you are taking care of your mother, the way to go is to have your mother declared incompetent and be appointed her guardian, so she can never again have her signature used against herself.

My friend and his 86 year old mother, who signed a POA while suffering dementia, for 3 years, by older siblings (while making us responsible for her medicine and food, especially using Exelon which was so expensive, the POA's never paid him back) that a guardian at litem was appointed when we went to court (because the family was divided and I was doing all the free care-taking) and the 86 year old now has a guardian from the state, the point is that once something like that goes into motion, at least they(other siblings) do not have power and the 86 tear old is still with us, but works with her social security check.

Once her residence was sold by the POA, thank God it was done under court supervision, the money is safe in a bank, instead of in their pockets.

They thought because they were the oldest siblings, they did not have to do the daily stuff, my friend ( who is the 61 year old baby sibling) would be stuck. As we all know care-taking without use of existing funds, can rob us of ours. And so we are broke asking the court to be paid.

This happened to me: my parents had me as their POA's, after Mom died, I was still my Dad's, but because sociopathic siblings wanted more control, and because they could not intimidate or control me, a notary (who acted illegally in my opinion) brought a new document to my Dad's home and with the help of the siblings, literally drew his name on the document. It was not his signature alone, as by that time he could not see or write legibly. My parents had chosen me as their POA because they knew I was honest and would be fair to all involved. Too bad all their children did not have the same values or they would have been the POA and my folks both knew that. I am so sorry this has happened to you; depending on how much it means to you and if you want to pursue action (which I did not because I had a nervous breakdown over it) please contact your own Elder Law attorney, your Adult Protective Services and your county social services. Be sure you have all the paper trail documentation to prove your case - that is if you choose to follow up. It is a cruel world we live in when it comes to siblings, estates, money, and who wants the power. Be prepared to be alienated if you pursue this avenue. Good ideas: get the date your Mom was originally diagnosed with dementia, that will be your most important proof. Siblings can be most hurtful and it makes me sad that you are going through what I went through 29 years ago. Bless you for caring, but be sure you're ready for what comes down the road. Your health is the most important thing. Don't stop caring for your Mom and telling her you love her every chance you get. Her care and your love for her is more important than anything else. Hugs

Seek your own attorney. Since this is a civil matter, it will be handled as such without police involvement. File a complaint with your local bar association against the attorney for your siblings, putting on record that he/she never contacted you to verify his/her allegations before changing the POA. This is a very serious matter with the Bar Association and they don't like their attorneys doing something that is illegal, otherwise, they could lose their license. Family disputes are never ending when it comes to inheritance, sibling rivalry and past arguments. Know that your family is not the only family that this happens to. Good luck and let us hear what happens.

A competent person can change their POA for any reason or no reason. If you explain the situation to Mother and she wants to change it back to you, she can.

The real question here is whether Mom is "competent" in the legal sense. Dementia does not automatically make her incompetent. Can she understand the concept of allowing someone else to act on her behalf for financial transactions?

What the lawyer did is not unethical. A client who appeared lucid and competent asked to have a new POA designated. He did not have to check out whether the reason was valid -- he did not even have to know the reason. A competent person can change the POA on a whim, for any reason. He may have asked for a reason to get a sense of whether Mom understood what she was doing.

Your sister's ethical status could be questioned!

If Mom was competent to change the POA a few weeks ago, presumably she would be competent to change it back today (if she wants to).

I know you can change POA's if you wish, but not once their mental status has been established. That is what the attorney told us

Do you have a written diagnosis from the doctor that your mother has dementia? If not, then I would ask her doctor to give you a document that states that and when she was originally diagnosed.
If you have that piece of paper that shows she has dementia then what the attorney and your sisters did was unethical and illegal. I can't believe that the attorney would change POA without speaking to your mother in person.
My mother had to meet privately with her attorney to discuss POA before he would do the documentation.

I hate to see this stuff happen. It's sad.

It is legal to change POA at any time, but the issue is because of the dementia. Keep in mind that the attorney may have not been told about the dementia and may have been brought before mom at a time of relative lucidity/agreement. So there may not be any attorney ethic issue here, but he should definitely be reported to the bar to look into it. And the writer should immediately get a attorney and go to court to challenge the POA. And bring every documentation item you can. Bear in mind that unless you and your mom had an agreement in writing or some evidence of a writing that may not be validated by the court. But you need to see an attorney asap!

Get yourself a good attorney. Your sister cannot legally change the POA if your mother no longer has mental faculties to agree. I went thru this with my sister and when I got an attorney, He showed her the law and said you cannot change your mother's POA. It is solid. GET AN ATTORNEY.

It is not legal to do otherwise but the lawyer acted unethically. You can always put a document in front of someone with dementia to change a will but if he/she was already diagnosed, it can be challenged in court. A good attorney will not take on such a case without evidence that someone of advanced years is still of sound mind.

Hunt -- This is just WRONG.

If I understand correctly, the premise behind POA is that a person who is of sound mind and body appoints someone to act for them in case of becoming too unsound to do it themselves.

In order for this to be changed, the case should go before a judge who would hear both parties -- the POA and the challenger. I'm astonished that it's even legal to do otherwise.

If fees for a lawyer are a problem, perhaps your local legal aid agency can help. Meanwhile, I pray that this gets sorted out quickly with all parties blessed.

Wow ...isn't it sad how things like this happen in families in times like this..it tears families apart when really they should be pulling together to help each other during this time. I wish you the very best...god bless

this is exactly what happened to me. It's a horrible feeling and I pray you have faith to see you through it. Myself? I cannot afford the legal battle and fortunately, Dad's physical needs are being attended to. you need to decide if it's your mom being hurt or you. The courts watch out for the best interest of the senior involved. However, i have a question for others…….if things are not split the way mom and dad wanted them to be after their death, can I go back with good records to show that?

What that attorney did is unethical. You can report him/her to the bar association in your state.

I agree with glaimhere.My sister did the same thing and we didn't know about it until after dad died.

Call'Adult Protective Services. This is called undue influence to coerce change to POA for your mother. Find an excellent elder law attorney check out website Back and Super Lawyers. Make sure that the attorney is a strong litigator!