She is mentally ill and hallucinating since Dad died in October. Dad had helped her out numerous times financially because she makes poor decisions. I am POA. She thinks I'm keeping money for myself. Mom's AL cost 6000 per month.
Under the umbrella of law you cannot give her any money for her issues. The money is for your mother, end of conversation. If she doesn't have a relationship with you, then so be it. If need be get a restraining order against her so she stops harassing you and your mother.
I wish you the best, do what is right for your mother.
If your sister is mentally ill, she should be able to access benefits to pay for her medical bills. Perhaps you can help her in that way, help her get treatment and hooked up with the local social service agencies.
no you can not give her any money that is supposed to be for your mom's care. direct her to where she can get the help she needs. If she comes to your house and starts acting out..call 911 tell the dispatcher you are afraid harm will come to you..or is she threatens harm to herself. This would probably get her a ride to the hospital where she would be evaluated.
Answer is that you wish you could, you wish you had the money, but Mom now needs her money, and you don't have that kind of money, and you are sorry. As to a relationship, whether or not to have one, you would love to keep a relationship, but it is not in your hands. Good on you. You are to protect Mom's assets for her now. That is your mission in life. It doesn't matter what Sis thinks or doesn't think. Just be pleasant and nice; don't get pushed into an argument or fight.
No one mentioned that giving sister money will effect Mom being able to get Medicaid in the future. Medicaid looks back 5 yrs. if within that time she has given a large amount of money away, there will be a penalty. The money will have to be given back or someone will have to care for Mom till penalty is justified.
I suggest you put Moms banking info in a safe place where sister cannot get hold of it. As said, tell her you cannot use Moms money for anything but Moms care. Tell her you will be held accountable for it if Medicaid is ever needed.
Is she on Social Security Disability? If so, she should be receiving Medicare and Medicaid. Her health care should be covered. Maybe some copays or deductables. Tell her to set up payment plans with those she owes. Dad did her no favors by allowing her to rely on him.
Inform the bank that only you can sign checks on Moms acct. My Uncle was given a number he included on the check because of an Aunt forging my Gma's checks.
Is she on SSDI? Do NOT give her your grandmother's money under any circumstances. Tell her that by law you cannot give or even lend her money because you are legally accountable as Gramma's PoA. Don' let her into your home if you think she might pilfer things. Call your sister's bluff and don't allow her to bully you. If she harasses you further report her. Also contact the AL to discuss reporting to you if sister shows up there. I'm sorry you have to deal with this but boundaries will be essential for your wellbeing. Peace to you!
I am so sorry. Agree with PP, you indicate sister is mentally ill, does she not have insurance? Can you help her with figuring out how to get reimbursements on her own?
Your sister may be mentally ill but that doesn’t give her the right to manipulate you. Unfortunately this country is severely lacking in help for the mentally ill so I highly doubt she has access to benefits that can help with this debt. SSI isn’t even enough to keep a roof over her head. But that still doesn’t mean she can use fear and manipulation to force you to pay her debt with your moms money. Don’t do it.
The debt won't be paid , but if she can get into the mental health system there are case workers and social workers who will stabilize her situation and get her into treatment, SSDI and Medicaid. She likely will have to file bankruptcy for the debt.
Sadly, many people don’t pay their bills. Unfortunately, it’s why all of us pay more money. I had a doctor tell me that they don’t turn people away for treatment and if they don’t get paid they will increase their prices to make up for the money they lost.
When my brother died I know he had doctors that he owed money to. Not just doctors. He owed money to everyone. The rest of us who pay our bills end up paying their bill with paying higher fees.
Is this your decision as your mother's POA, or your mother's decision if she is still capable of making it?
If it's yours, it doesn't matter what your sister threatens. You CAN'T give her your mother's money unless your mother has previously, formally declared that she wants your sister to be supported (which seems improbable). It would be an abuse of your power of attorney.
If it's your mother's decision, she can give her money to whom she pleases; but you must counsel her about the risks involved should there be any possibility that her funds will run out while she still needs care or medical services, because Medicaid won't cover her for the amount she's given away.
Can you help your sister find alternative ways of paying for her medical care?
I wish you the best, do what is right for your mother.
direct her to where she can get the help she needs.
If she comes to your house and starts acting out..call 911 tell the dispatcher you are afraid harm will come to you..or is she threatens harm to herself. This would probably get her a ride to the hospital where she would be evaluated.
I suggest you put Moms banking info in a safe place where sister cannot get hold of it. As said, tell her you cannot use Moms money for anything but Moms care. Tell her you will be held accountable for it if Medicaid is ever needed.
Is she on Social Security Disability? If so, she should be receiving Medicare and Medicaid. Her health care should be covered. Maybe some copays or deductables. Tell her to set up payment plans with those she owes. Dad did her no favors by allowing her to rely on him.
Inform the bank that only you can sign checks on Moms acct. My Uncle was given a number he included on the check because of an Aunt forging my Gma's checks.
When my brother died I know he had doctors that he owed money to. Not just doctors. He owed money to everyone. The rest of us who pay our bills end up paying their bill with paying higher fees.
If it's yours, it doesn't matter what your sister threatens. You CAN'T give her your mother's money unless your mother has previously, formally declared that she wants your sister to be supported (which seems improbable). It would be an abuse of your power of attorney.
If it's your mother's decision, she can give her money to whom she pleases; but you must counsel her about the risks involved should there be any possibility that her funds will run out while she still needs care or medical services, because Medicaid won't cover her for the amount she's given away.
Can you help your sister find alternative ways of paying for her medical care?