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My mother has alz and dad is blind with dementia. Years ago they chose me as POA. Not my sister as she and her husband have borrowed money often and are slow to pay back. My sister's husband has been arrested for several questionable business dealings. Well as soon as I started enforcing the dr. and GCM advice (hiring outside help, taking away checkbook, keeping appointments with Alzheimer dr.,) my parents got angry and said I was overreacting and got my sister on board. Now they are trying to revoke my POA. The bank called and told me my sister and they were at the bank to take the money out. I quickly transferred the money into my acct. and called my lawyer. I don't want to use their money like this. My sister said she would never speak to me again and her husband said I am dead to him. My parents trusted me to take care of them and I hope I am doing the right thing. Am I? I am trying to protect my parents but it is hard to hear them question me now and tell me to let go.

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i appreciate all the thoughts and advice i am receiving.
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I'm sorry to hear of your situation which I am somewhat familiar with. My parents chose me to be their POA. My parents trusted me but I did not know that a couple of my siblings would have a problem with it. It's all about the money. No one except one brother (and there are five of us) would/could help me. No one else volunteered to help me with other things, but they had a lot to say about the money. Both of my parents have since (2014 and 2015)passed and they both had beautiful funerals thanks to the money my parents had and as you know funerals can be really expensive. In cases like this, there is very limited appreciation especially when money is involved. I really and truly thought my siblings were better than that. Now I'm considered a thief. They have no idea what I had to do to help my parents emotionally, physically, medically and whatever else that I could offer to them. I didn't here "Boo" from them until my mother passed away and it became worse after my father passed away. To them I'm a thief not a caregiver. What a shame. Bottom line -- do what you have to do, keep your head up (my father used to tell me that often)and be strong. After all is said and done, you will have no regrets -- and THAT my friend, you will be able to live with. Easier said than done, but it can be done. Blessings to you and yours.
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Bambi I agree that you are right to be concerned and you are right to take steps to protect your parents, but you are in a delicate position until you have it officially on record that your parents no longer have legal capacity. Get to a lawyer and see to that as soon as you can; because until it's done your parents, legally speaking, have every right to revoke their POA and draw up a new one. So crack on with it and don't spare the horses! And thank God that they also had the good fortune to choose responsible financial advisors and service providers back in the day when they were up to it. Keep good records, as I'm sure you are doing anyway. Best of luck, please let us know how you're getting on.

And, you don't care for your BIL's comments, do you, surely? What can his good opinion be worth to anyone, I'd like to know.
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I just never thought things would get to this level. since this occurred, I have called my parents' investment advisor to inform her of the issues and to make sure they don't cash anything in. I have written letters of instruction to their stocks to not cash in anything. I am afraid because my sister and her business partner had a falling out and she needs money. in my mind, that is why she went to the bank with them and they called his stocks to find out how much they are worth and how to cash in (told to me by another relative)
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How wonderful that someone at the bank recognized that your parents have dementia and questioned if they should be allowed to make these kinds of decisions anymore, too often we read that the POA only finds out after the damage has been done. Your parent's money is there for their needs, and using it to pay for their care is entirely appropriate.
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My parents also have dementia and I am their POA. Dementia can sometimes cause them to be paranoid, anxious and questioning decisions. Though it can make me nuts, I know I'm doing the best thing for them financially as well as physically and socially. When they are lucid, they tell me they are so lucky to have me take care of them. Keep on your path!
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I think you are doing the right thing, if that is any consolation.
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