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My mom has moderate dementia and cannot make sound decisions. A court has not ruled that she is incompetent. My sister and I have dual power of attorney. Our names appear with the word and we do have a durable POA . I have been taking care of all of my mother's needs since 2012 including selling her home, applying for Medicaid, arranging assisted living and now a nursing home. I have involved my sister in those moves and the house sale. She had/has no desire to take care of mom. She spoke to an attorney that told her that he had an electronic note that says the POA was changed only to my name in June 2013. Neither myself nor my sister were aware of this and I can't find a copy in any of Mom's paperwork. The attorney off record said he didn't have a copy to provide me and I have no way of finding one. My sister, after finding out the POA was changed, is accusing, threatening and slandering me with family and friends. She is threatening to take me to court. What recourse would you suggest? Does applying for guardianship for my mom apply here? Will my sister have to know that I applied for it? Her motive is greed and she is angry and nothing I say or do will convince her otherwise. Please advise. Thanks, Sherry

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There's a whole lot here that is just plain skrewy.

First - the only one who can make changes to a POA is the principal. Regardless of whether you mother did this not not herself back in 2013 - there is no way you can be held responsible and therefore no basis to sue.

Unless your sister is somehow intending to show you pressured your mother into the change. To do this she would need to know the attorney who changed the POA. IF you had pressured your mom your sister would need the attorney to witness to that. That would get him into huge trouble as it is illegal for him to change a POA under those conditions. It would not have happened and even if it did - he's not going to admit it. Again - no case to sue.

But what I really don't get is this huge fuss being made over an electronic note. That's not valid proof. No original copy of the susposed new POA - no case.

But what really really gets me is - why doesn't anyone have a copy of the first POA? How on earth have you been managing to conduct all this business on your moms behalf without one? H*ll, I carried a manila envelope with multiple copies of my moms DPOA in my purse everywhere I went for four years! Every time I turned around someone was asking for one. And the original attorney doesn't have a copy? I'd get a new attorney if that's how well he keeps records. Plus - surely someone you've done business with on your mothers behalf has a copy?!!

I don't know - too many things just don't make sense. But - regardless - your sister is huffing and puffing but she's got nothing.
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Your sister is going to take you to court for what? I'd just say, "Let me know when you have a court date."
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In NJ the POA does not have to be filed. Just witnessed. The lawyer who wrote it should have a copy of the changes. I would think u had to be there if Mom made changes. It could be "this" lawyer is mistaken. You should have the original and if u weren't there the lawyer should have sent u changes.
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Her motive is greed?

You don't think her belief - a wrong belief, but nonetheless her belief - that you have gone behind her back and removed her, quite illegally, from your mother's DPOA is more likely to be behind her (over)reaction?

I think you need to sort this out with your sister's attorney, beginning with a demand for an explanation of where he got his false information and what he has to say for himself. Put in a formal complaint and spell out how much completely needless damage to your family's relationships and the smooth running of your mother's care this error on his part has caused. Further demand that he acknowledge the error and copy the acknowledgement to his client, your sister.
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((((((sherry))))) what a nasty situation. It seems very strange that the atty does not have a copy of the POA for you as there are times you might need it. I presume that your mother made the change in 2013, but doing it without informing you and your sis seems odd. The evidence that this has been done is an email???? They must have a record of the new POA somewhere unless they did not make one after the email was received. Only your mum could change the POA. Just what is your sis going to take you to court over? You have been dutifully caring for your mum for some time. I doubt that she has anything to charge you with that would hold water, Many sibs want control in order to get their parent's assets. If you apply for guardianship there is no guarantee that you will get it. Firstly, the courts need to establish that your mum is incompetent to make decisions for herself and secondly if there is family discord they may well appoint a non family member.

If I were you, and I have a sis too who accuses me while I have POA and do the work, (mother wanted it joint initially, but I refused) I would ignore your sis's rantings and anger as I do not believe there is anything she can actually do. Being slandered to others is very unpleasant. I notified mother's lawyer of what was said about me so that she was informed, but, of course she could not do anything for me due to conflict of interest. You could have your lawyer write her a letter regarding your sis's accusations and slandering.

I have gone essentially no contact with my sis, things have settled down, but I would not be surprised if there was more trouble when mother dies as, I have been told by family members that my sis thinks she should have the whole inheritance. Tales of greedy sibs are common on this site. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this as well as with your mum.
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Applying for guardianship does not apply. If you do apply for it, your sister will be contacted about it.

Have you seen this electronic note?

It sounds to me like you need a lawyer. Does any bank or someone else have a copy of the previous Durable POA?
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