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I have been caring for my mom (80) who has Alzheimer's, for the past 2 years. I have gotten little to no support from any one of 4 siblings. Over this past weekend my older sister agreed to take my mom for a couple of weeks to give me a break and some time to recharge. Today I was informed that she is now taking over and was told that my mom will not be coming back to live with me. She has also been controlling when I am "allowed" to speak to my mom on the phone. She went as far as accusing me of starving my mom. All of which are so untrue.....she has notbeen involved in my mom's life for the past 2 years and has no idea what is going on with her medically....I feel helpless as what I can do to have her return my mom home. I have poa and my mom WANTS to be here with me and my family. What can I do?

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CountryMouse nailed it, Debbie. Take the high road. And while you're at it...

Allow your sister to take over. Take a break. Re-charge. Perhaps take a vacation? Or at the very least, take care of all those doctor's appointments for yourself that you've been putting off. Get a haircut. Go to the library. Go out for coffee or drinks with a friend. See a couple of movies.

Something tells me that when sis discovers what is really going on, she's going to be begging for you to "help" or take mom's care over again. If at all possible, when this occurs, have a sit down with her and discuss the realities of mom's care and how, not if, tasks can be shared.

You'll be tempted to say "I told you so", but don't.
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In case your sister gets it in her head to have your mom change the POA to her - it would be a good idea to get moms doctor to write a letter saying your mothers mental capacity is such that she is unable to make legal decisions. This will come in handy if you need to challenge any new POAs, wills etc.
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Aside: I hate to say it, but this is an example of why it's not always good to have "help" from siblings. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.  Hands on caregivers NEED help and respite, but then sometimes our sibs version of "help" is more "h*ll." It's so absurdly unfair for sibs who aren't doing hands on to hinder the efforts of those who are, or to judge a situation they aren't familiar with, when you've been doing all the daily care for years.
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You have medical POA? Your sis can't take your mother like that, but for everyone's sake, maybe you should take the high road and give your sis a little bit of time to figure out for herself that your mom is in the best shape possible. Will anything bad happen to your mom if she stays with your sis for a few days? All meds will be taken/given as prescribed, etc?

Also, maybe you can gather the medical info from mom's docs and procedures or whatever other medical evidence that will show why mom is underweight (I assume your mom is underweight, which is common in elders, of course).

If all else fails, you call the police and have them escort you to your sis's house and get your mom back. Your sis has effectively kidnapped your mom, since you are POA and mom resides with you. If you explain in full to the local police department, hopefully they will be understanding and supportive. It would be helpful to reach out to sis's local Dept of Aging, too, and get their input.

Those are my top thoughts. Others here will have good ideas for you, too.
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Debbie, what a nightmare for you. I'm so sorry.

Fortunately for your mother too, that you have developed this good working relationship with her doctor. And it was correct for you to agree to your sister's taking her to that appointment - it shows that you are comfortable with having your care standards looked at, that you have nothing to hide.

But ugh! For heaven's *sake*! What does your sister think she's playing at?!

Do you think it would be reasonable to guess that your sister, being entirely ignorant of Alzheimers, has leaped to all kinds of conclusions, perhaps backed up by loopy comments from your mother?

If that's the case, then no doubt everything can be clarified and sorted out; and it would also explain why your sister is overreacting in this way. Boy, does your sister have a lot to learn!

So don't overreact in turn. Keep calm, be firm, and make allowances for your sister's actually just not having a clue and being freaked out. Your mother's wishes are clear, you have the legal authority, and there's no immediate need to panic.
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Oh, I agree with Barb.

Do not fret about this. Take the time off! Enjoy the freedom. It won't be long (less than 30 days) before Sis learns the truth for herself. Enjoy while you can! This will be the last time she ever agrees to take Mom in her own home....
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My mom has an appointment with her doctor tomorrow and I have agreed to let my sister take her to that appointment alone. I did speak to my mom's doctor to give her permission to discuss my mom's health issues with her. Fortunately for me, I have developed a positive relationship with my mom's doctor and she is very aware of my concerns and knows that I address every single concern, no matter how minor or more serious it is. I definitely do not.take anything for granted when it comes to her health.
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Agree with other posters. Let Sis find out for herself as long as it is not harmful to Mom and she doesn't try something sneaky like nursing home placement. Also watch out for diversion of Mom's funds if she has any.
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I am so sorry for you. I have been where you are. It is not a good place to be. Your sister has no idea what it is really like to be responsible for someone 24/7. I wish I had known about this site. I had POA ... but did not realize what I could do with it. I also had a good relationship with my mother's doctor, which really helped when my siblings took me to court.   After sight:  I totally agree with Barb also.
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My very first thought was: is there some money to be had here?
Why would she be taking an interest now?
I have seen some relatives, whom I thought were normal everyday "Christian" people go absolutely wacky because there was some money involved, and actually not a large amount at all.
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