I am a wreck mentally, emotionally & physically. I give up trying to condense the background information I think is important for better insight the kind of help I need because I don’t know what kind of help I need.
My sister has clearly stolen mom’s SSDI…among several misuse/abuse rules broken. Below is what I came up with at the end of what I spent an embarrassingly long time trying to condense. I know there’s a character limit so I’m going to copy and paste whatever will paste and go from there…
Finally to the most important urgent point of this novella:
· I reported her to the SSA OIG
· To my understanding IF they decide to investigate it takes at least 6 months
· She’s already gotten December check so now 3 months of mom’s money is MIA
· What do I do to stop it? is she to keep taking mom’s money for who knows how long?
· Maybe SSA will stop sending checks??? How do I make that happen? Or get payee changed to me
· She was to write a letter to SSA requesting payee be changed over to me but now no doubt she didn’t bother
· Am I to now have to worry and wonder for months only to come up with nothing when its time to pay up for mom
· Should I speak with the nursing home about this? Would they help or hurt me?
· As the DPOA I feel like a colossal failure=feel as though I could have and should have done more…more what I can’t imagine but still fearful-Will they/state take mom from me?
· I can’t even bring mom to live with me. my situation hasn’t changed and wouldn’t have for at least 4-6 months anyway BUT
· Given the crash course I’ve received of the kind of person my sister truly is I’d go get mom RIGHT NOW regardless my situation but there’s still the money issue stopping me in my tracks made worse with missing SSDI/owing NH???no clue where I’d start until I can sort out this nightmare
· I just overall fear losing mom period…this is so horrible for me all these words will never cover it but for her…I just can’t imagine and I’m all she has…I can’t let her be there all alone period but
· Now here’s this woman with mild enough dementia that she has more good days than not and still sharp as to things being amiss…I can’t stomach it any of it she’s already so scared and lonely and now she has to wait how long until I can fix everything and get her to the only family member she has that actually cares about her wellbeing
· There must be a number of other resources for the interim of OIG investigations???
· Help in how to deal with the NH even in as far as telling them what I strongly suspect my sister has done?
· How to deal with trying to financially support mom when I’m in my circumstance that already had me scraping for $80-100 a month to make sure she has a little something to help keep her dignity/humanity/autonomy…even if just to have her favorite lotion, new underwear, kit kat bars and soda (she has her own spending acct and makes her own shopping list)
· I’ll stop there…everything I’ve said here surely will give someone who knows a lot more than me the clues to exactly what I need to do, whom to contact and so forth
I’m a little desperate to find guidance as to what to do, who to call, contact…anything to help me swiftly and thoroughly do what I can and what I should in this situation.
There are probably better areas I could post about this here and I certainly welcome any information about that as well.
That said, I’ll dive in but only with the cursory information then will jump ahead to what happened to bring me here.
My mother (65) has several serious health problems/concerns. One is vascular dementia on top of speech aphasia from at least one of her strokes which was severe embolic type.
I (49) am her closest living relative, eldest child and DPOA (full powers). I live in TX.
My “baby sister” (44) who will be referred to as BS for identity reasons lives in TN; the two of us have been close our entire lives and rarely…really never had much more