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I am will to take care of my mom so she can remain in her home (she has maybe 6 months left) my sister wants her to go to a nursing home so it wont interfere with her life.

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Sorry to interrupt here, but what does the MD have to say? Hospice requires the patient is NEVER left alone. That means hubby has to be there 24/7 which is physically and mentally impossible for one person. Hubs will be there with no car? The logistics here seem almost impossible. Certainly he should go see her, but if he's not experienced with caring for the bedbound, he is in over his head. My husband retired early and said he would care for our daughter. He burned out in two weeks. Be aware it is not as easy as it looks.
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Sorry for all the misspellings I am so mad at this situation, I am not proof reading my responses.... When someone is entering end of life... Family should support one another, not play power trips.
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One more thing, Mother in Law doesn't believe her daughter is doing all this manipulative things. crazy crap... I am so glad my brother and I respected each other more than this....
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Just found out Husbands sister does have poa and has told any family members not to pick him up from bus station. Also he is not need there... Cruel Sister in my opinion.
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Melville, I don't see how your sister-in-law could force her mother out of her home even if she does has POA and/or medical proxy. POA gives one authority to deal with financial and legal issues on Mother's behalf. It does not give control over Mother herself. Medical proxy authorizes the person who holds it to make medical decisions if Mother is not competent to make her own decisions.

I think your husband, Son, will be able to do what he needs to do to stay with Mother just fine. There may be a lot of noise from Controlling Sis, but I doubt she'll get her way.

Hospice should be able to help deal with this situation.

It would be useful to know if anyone has POA and Health Care Proxy. But either way, just go ahead and do what you want to do.
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Don't know who is poa if it is both of us or neither of us... The thing is my mom wants to stay in her home but doesnt want to be a burden... To me she is not a burden... to my sister who is all about herself she could be seen as a burden.
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Your question can't be answered accurately until Jeanne's questions are addressed, specifically, who if anyone holds the DPOA and Health Care Proxy?
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This is for my husband my mom passed 3 wks ago. No other sibblings other than his sister who has control issues.... My husband is going to ga to live with his mother to allow her to stay in her home with the assistance of hospice. The hospice nurse who will be in charge of her care is her late husbands niece. She would rather be at home. Hubbys sister is only interested in what will benefit herself... Crazy drives me nuts because I spent a year and half giving up everything to take care of my mom... Family first. The daughter lives in same area my husband will be leaving me in nc and going to ga. I fully support this...
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Why would your sister have more say than you do? Is she POA or medical proxy?

Is Mother lucid enough to state what she wants?

Is hospice involved? Would you move into Mom's home or are you there now?

As far as you can tell, is your sister's primary concern what is best for Mother? Does she claim she doesn't want to see your life disrupted? If her concern really is for her own sanity/convenience, perhaps you can convince her that turning the care over to you will be as convenient for her as turning the care over to an NH.

Is it just the two of you or are there other siblings? Are you married/ do you have children?

If things work out so that Mother can stay in her home, will you have some in-home care to supplement what you provide, and to give you respite?

Does Mother have impairments in addition to dementia?

More details will help us provide more specific responses.
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