Follow
Share

I am constantly working to try to get her to understand that mother needs to get out of that bed. She allows her to sit up to comp her hair, feed her, etc. I am afraid that she is buying into this hospice mentality and I see mother differently. How do I get her to understand just simple things while being a caregiver?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Wilo, what Maggie has said. Your sister is Mom's caregiver. Your job is to support your sister, whatever that means. Sister is doing the best she can and second guessing her is not going to help Mom or sis. PT is stopped when progress stops as determined by the therapist, Medicare will not pay for it. You mom is terminal and on hospice which usually means she has less than six months left. The only thing to do for mom now is to keep her as comfortable as possible.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I guess the bottom line is that you and your sister see things differently, as you have already stated. Your sister may be "buying into this hospice mentality" because she has been there more and is more ready to accept that there is only so much time left for a 100 yr old with late stage dementia. You say that you are there to give respite, so certainly you can get mom up on the days you are there. It is obvious that someone in your mom's condition needs 24 hour care, perhaps you and sister need to discuss paying for aides more frequently or even moving mom to a facility for her final days.
As heartbreaking as it is to see your mom in this condition the reality is that as long as she is eating, drinking and eliminating this could go on for a very long time, very hard for one person to manage without a strong support system in place.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Sounds to me like your sister is doing the heavy lifting here. Leave it alone. Mom is 100 years old and on hospice. Don't spend your time being critical of your sister. Spend your time HELPING HER, and loving, entertaining and hugging mom.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I'm not sure I understand what you are expecting from your mom and your sister. Your sister could have burnout, but I would explore what your 100 year old, terminally ill mother is capable of doing. Is your sister physically able to get her into a wheelchair? Is she comfortable or suffering in any way? You indicate she has trouble swallowing and cannot use her legs. Can you and your sister discuss her care with the Hospice team?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

She is on hospice but really was coded into that program according to my sister because of her throat challenges. Mom is alert and speak with sentences from time to time. She did not have a stroke. Mom lives in her own home and my sister attend to her there. Mom is 100 years of age. Alzheimer's is her only diagnosis. She is not able to use her legs now. She was getting physical therapy. Before I came home she was admitted to the hospital for a UTI. I do not want to tell my sister that she is not caring for mom in the proper way. I came here to spend a month with my mom and sister to give her some relief because I was beginning to recognize caregiver's syndrome. I was worried about burn out and my sister's health.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Give us a little more detail please. Is mom on hospice? Does she live with your sister? How old is your mom, and what is her diagnosis beyond alzheimer's that has her bedfast?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.