My 81-year-old dad has been living alone since my mom died unexpectedly 3 years ago. He has had some health problems but is OK at the moment, driving, doing his own shopping, going to doctor's appointments, etc.
My sister lives 1,500 miles from him and has not been back to visit since my mom died. She emails him regularly and calls occasionally. They never got along, and she is still mad at him for things he did and said 25 years ago.
I live 350 miles from him, visit about every 8 weeks, call weekly, and email regularly. My sister says I'm "coddling" our dad and he should either move into assisted living or stand on his own. Yesterday she accused me of "neglecting her" (not calling or emailing her as frequently) in favor of taking care of our dad.
I'm OK with her choosing not to help, because the two of them really never got along, and I can't even imagine her replacing light bulbs for him or helping him sort through his clothes. It seems more likely she would yell at him to do it himself.
But for her to accuse me of neglecting *her* makes me wonder if something is more seriously out of whack with how she is perceiving the situation. I've read through the forum but not seen something similar. Anyone? Thanks for any insights you can share.