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I was caring for my sick mom and caring for my dad as well in their home in 2016 due to my sister work schedule and inability to care for them. I lived in my parents home while caring for them. My mom died and several months later and my sister and niece kick me out of the home. My dad suffers from memory lost and takes medication for it. He feels intimidated by my sister but because she had always lived with them she feels that she must have control of the house and matter pertaining to my dad. My dad goes along with it because I have an apartment some where else and is afraid of my sister and niece. My dad said I could visit him only when my sister and niece was present in the home which is what my sister demanded. Recently I was told by my sister that I could not come to my parents home to visit my dad at all any more. What can I do to change this situation being for the facts I stated before. My dad is scared and do not want to make any waves. Due to his age (77) is is afraid that he will get kick out of his own home by my sister. Lastly taking medication for memory lost impairs his ability to make rational decisions.

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I am very sad for you. You clearly have given of yourself in caring for your parents. To be treated this way now is outrageous.

Do you have any idea why your sister is taking this stand? Does she claim that Dad gets upset by your visits? That you tire him out? That it is his choice not to see you? I'm wondering what justification she gives.

What do you think her true motivation is? Could this somehow be about money, and who is going to be left what? Is it specifically aimed at you as some king of retaliation? (Were you the favorite growing up? Did you steal her boyfriend in high school? Did you argue a lot while you were living there?)

Unless your sister is his legal guardian she cannot determine who is allowed to visit him. Unless she owns the house, she is not allowed to refuse admittance to anyone Dad wants to see. These are legal truths. But if she refuses to open the door and if she has Dad frightened into going along, being in the legal right may not be helpful.

What if you called APS and explained that your vulnerable father is being well-cared for, given food and medications appropriately, etc., but the one abusive aspect is that he is prevented from seeing his daughter? Of course, if your dad is frightened enough to say he doesn't want to see you that wouldn't do you much good, but it might be worth a try.

Who is with Dad when Sister works? Do you talk to Dad on the phone?
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