I live three hours away and my sister lives 2 miles from our parents. My mother has advanced dementia and was just checked into a facility by my sister and my father. My father is also showing early signs of dementia, and we worry about him living on his own, but for now he is still living in his house. My sister has been amazing about stopping in, buying groceries, and taking care of their finances. I visit once a month and used to call every weekend. Now that Mom is in a nursing home I call my Dad every day to make sure he's okay. Since my mother started to decline, my relationship with my sister has deteriorated. She has rejected all of my offers to help (legal fees, researching facilities, coming home to help move Mom into the home, and general offers to pitch in for whatever she needs--I just need her to say the word), but she is hostile toward me when I visit and it's clear she's angry with me that she is carrying this burden alone. (We have two brothers, but they aren't held to the same standards). She has lengthy explanations as to why my offers to help are not good enough, and she's constantly telling me things like, "Mom won't even know who I am, so if I visit its only for my own benefit." She told me that she didn't need me to come last weekend, but when I didn't come,she sent me a harsh email saying she was a annoyed with me for putting my own needs first (I am getting over a chronic illness and thought it better to stay home and rest). And then complained that she never has the option to put her own needs first. I recognize that she is under an immense amount of stress, and she feels that she is carrying this alone, but I don't know what else to do when she rejects all my offers to help. She is really amazing with the way she has taken charge of our parents' affairs, and I can only imagine the strain that this is putting on her and her family, but her way of dealing with the stress is to treat me like I am a heartless, selfish child. I continue to tell her that she's doing an incredible job and offer to help, but I'm at a point where I just don't want to talk to her again. Short of quitting my job and leaving my family behind to move home to live with my father, what can I do to get her to recognize that while she has the right to be angry at the situation, she doesn't have the right to treat me like the reason our mother has dementia? The worst part is I feel like I am not entitled to feelings of grief and sadness for what is happening to our parents because she is the only one who is actually sacrificing for them. So, I keep my feelings to myself now, and it's a terribly lonely feeling.