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Well my sister lives only one hour from my Mom and Step-Dad's house. She has promise to do some premade meals and baking but never did. I have been here for one year taking care of them both I was only supposed to stay for the winter but my Mom begged me to stay longer I once ask my sister if she could come help because my back was sore she blew up and said our Step- Dad's family can do the helping now I am suffering from care burnout but could never tell her this because she will say oh well put Mom in a home etc Last year she was fostering a child but now the child was adopted out she never asks how I am doing rarely answer's my text's I send her update text's about my Mom now last night she sent me a text picture of her and a little boy saying look at our new addition to the family and I was so hurt I know she is only doing it for the extra income some of you might disagree but I know my sister it is all about money and on top of it all she is in denial of her drinking? I could not sleep all night because I was so mad and hurt I want to tell her how I feel but my partner said what for she will just twist it and say well it was your choice to look after Mom etc it is bad enough I am dealing with my manipulative Mother and Stepfather but now this how should I deal with this any advice yes I am getting support caregiver counseling and in the procedure of having a caregiver come in to take care of my Mom and Step Father any advice?

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Overwhelm, first of all be proud of what you've already done for your mother. You've restored her health and now you're getting her care organised. Well done. Even if she and your step-dad don't always show the appreciation they should, perhaps, you can be sure that we all know how much you've achieved.

Your sister made different choices. She had every right to, you know. Don't be mad at her; and especially don't seethe inside without speaking clearly to her about - well, all sorts of things. Those airy promises that came to nothing. Her taking on a foster child when she knew - or she might have thought; it's not quite the same - that there was plenty of work to be done for her mother that you needed help with. The thing is, because she's not there she's probably not as aware as you think of how much you're carrying, day in day out, and meanwhile she's excitedly getting on with her life. It's very galling, I completely sympathise with that; but I doubt if she's intentionally rubbing your nose in it.

Ring her up and say "hey, mush, what happened to that pedicure you promised me? I'm dead on my feet with looking after OUR mother all day - I could do with it!" Don't stop talking to her; and don't weigh in with the full list of everything she's done wrong all at once, either - remember, she's not thinking about this all the time. If you drop it all on her in one go she won't take the point on board, she'll just think you're ripping into her unfairly. Start small, one or two specific things you'd like her to do - come round WITH THAT CAKE she promised on a date you agree between you, for example - and hold her to them. At some stage you'll get to the kind of conversation where you can unload more, and maybe - I hope - things will start to turn around.
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But now I am getting burnt out and very frustrated so I am in the process of getting my Mom and Step-Dad a caregiver but the red tape takes awhile I am also seeing a support person one on one plus going to the support caregiver group for the first time next week the case manager comes next week sometime and she will decide what kind of home support my Mom needs in the mean time I am just really hurt that my sister would flaunt that in a text without even thinking about helping out ?? It is not only that, I ask her awhile back do you want to go away for a couple of days and stay in a motel and do fun stuff she said sure never happened and then she said she was going to pay for me to have a pedicure never happen??
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You are getting some counselling. You have some in-home help coming in. That is great. Your sister isn't providing the pre-made meals she promised. How about Meals on Wheels? Do your parents have a homemaker coming in to clean and do laundry? Get as much off your shoulders as you possibly can.
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Well first of all thank you all for the advice yes it was my choice to stay when my Mom ask me but if I wasn't here I think my Mom would have gone down hill she was very under weight and I have managed to get some weight on her also she was not going to the doctor finally I had her going on repeated visits plus a specialist for Seniors and they diagnose with Parkinson's and now she is on med's for that plus med's for her bladder she was basically going down hill and her husband would of watched her go and my freaking siblings that is why I stayed!!
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Don't depend upon your sister for anything. All that result in is resentment and hurt feelings. Don't expect her to all of a sudden become supportive and to pitch in. You're on your own and the sooner we cut the dead weight of unhelpful siblings the better.

Are you in a position to care for your mom and stepdad? Are you doing it already on your own and need some help?
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My sister is a jerk (B****) too. I feel you. Selfish bitches. I am soooooo over her excuses and bullshit. I hope she dies from one of her MANY made up diseases. Ok, I feel better now. Sorry I can't help you.
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I'm not challenging you, I just want to know what you think: when your mother asked you to stay on for longer than originally planned, why did you agree? If you hadn't agreed to her request, what would have happened instead? - where would you be living, what would her and your step-father's situation be now?
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Your sister is a jerk.
or
Your sister has problems of her own.
and/or
Your sister is mentally ill.

There is no point in stewing over what she "should" do ... you cannot control her behavior. You have tried influencing it, which you are certainly entitled to do, but without any success so far.

If you need help (and you do need it and absolutely deserve it) you will have to find it elsewhere. In this regard you are like an only child.

You also need your sleep. Lying awake in anger isn't helping anything. What is more likely to help is seeing a therapist. You deserve all the help you can get!
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