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Just learned from my son that my sister and nephew also claim that I hate her. They also believe that I am trying to take the house from her and I want to bring the state in so I can take over! My mom and I have apt. on tues for intake interview for her to receive meals on wheals. My mom had it before and it helped her so I called again. I canceled it over a month ago baffeled at my nephew stating she dont need it. Then he said they gon come in and see house and take over. I communicated to him and my sister to be present so they could see what was going on. Well he saw the meals started again and txt me that my mother does not want it. Dont bring that lady in her house and people with out her permission. I was like what on earth is going on here. I txt my son and he broke it down for me. Said I need to get out of there has been saying that. Is it crazy for me to pursue this apt. I will ask my mom again if she wants and proceed if she does. It feels like a climatic moment in in play. I have been living under this wrong and persecution all my life. Im just tryin to do this one thing for my moml who is wasting away and is undiagnosed but mentallly ill. I've spent a lifetime catering to her and her sickness regardless of how she treated me. MY siss and nephew have been witness to how she opperates and choose to go along. I explain to my son I have suffered from ugiliness and persecution a lifetime and Im not going to stop this goal because she and they have fed each other these wronful motives. She has to tell me she dont want it or refuse that woman for intake and I will respect her wishes and in process continue saving to get out. I have already been broken and put back together by the Grace of God any times.I am refusing to just stop this pursiuit of services just because of out of fear if what may happen. Help

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Mom is mentally ill and sees you as the enemy. There will be no convinving her otherwise. As Book suggests, move out and step back from her care. Tell her doctor she's not eating right. S/he can call APS to intervene if it's serious enough.
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I don't know why dementia can make a parent see their child as an enemy. My mother also rejects what I suggest and blames me for everything that happens. She fights at me like she thinks the things I do or suggest are unreasonable. This evening she heard a report that dietary supplements can interfere with cancer treatment. She misunderstood it to mean that the supplements cause breast cancer. I've been giving her Vitamins D3, B12, and E. Her blood work showed she needed the first two and I threw in the last because it was recommended for dementia. I tried to explain to her what the report said, but she wouldn't accept that. I was to stop the supplements right away. Okay, no problem.

They want so much to stay in control. Even if they don't understand something, they formulate their own understanding and want control based on that. The caregiver who is there the most often gets blamed for everything. I've thought it kind of funny that my mother can blame me in the most strange ways. This evening she things she got a urinary tract infection because the front yard is wel from rain, and if I would find a way to get it drained, she wouldn't have a problem anymore.

I find the best thing to do when they start the blame game is to walk away. If they have dementia, they may say they want something, then decide they don't. They'll tell you that they never did want it, but it was you forcing it on them. We can end up feeling crazy, particularly if there is history of dysfunction in the family.

I would say just to do what you can, but don't force anything on her. It will backfire on you from what you wrote. Things will work out as she needs more care. If there is no one else who steps up, the state may be willing to assume guardianship. Good luck!
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