My Sis is POA for parents (Dad has dementia, Mom still doing well) but it seems at every turn, Sis is always putting herself up on a pedestal and insisting on her way. She seems to feel POA makes her more important that her parents.
She hands out "instructions" to the rest of the kids, as if she is the Boss. Perhaps she feels that giving "instructions" to the other kids (who are all far far out of state, as is she) is being somehow helpful to me who lives 5 mins away.
But more often than not, her instructions are a burden on me (like telling me when I should take parents to the doctor, when Mom and I had already considered it and decided Dad did not need an immediate doctor visit, and the doctor concurred after we got there, but parents still pay the huge ER bill!). If I try to suggest to Sis that I do know best, she accuse me of trying to take her place. I am tired of dealing with all her "instructions" and anyhow, MOM is still in charge!
It seems I cannot get Sis to settle down and treat us all with respect.
Is there a name for this, is this some type of abuse, and have others found a way to deal with it?
I know there are some good POA's out there. Probably people like my Sis are in the great minority.
But it comes as a nearly weekly battle, one week after another, there is some way she finds to put me down, either accusing me of some wrongdoing, or nasty-ness.
Mostly I just ignore it. I am spending most time helping my parents on a daily basis! doing REAL things, like making sure they have good food to eat, drive them to church, make their doctor appts (quite a few of those). And helping them clean out 40 years of stuff in their house.
But all the crap that my Sis hands out, as if she is the BOSS, should I just laugh it off (as some of my friends suggest) or should I be concerned that when both parents die, even worse abuse is to come?
Am I going crazy or what? I need to preserve my sanity.