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My husband and I are both disabled and over 60. My sister-in-law has not seen or been in contact with us since 2003. My husband has a Traumatic Brain Injury. He is quite able to take care of himself but could not live alone as he would not remember to do some things such as paying bills. I have a back injury & depression but I manage to take care of us & the home & do everything. How can my sister-in-law just take guardianship of my husband? We do not want this.

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Step in and make your daughter your POA and guardian - job done
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pandora2015, I can see the outcome already if you let her win this battle. You need an Elder Care attorney and make sure that you are not only his wife but his guardian as well. In some states, you're not necessarily the guardian just because you're the wife. The attorney can inform you as to your states requirements. The SIL should be told you are competent and can take care of your husband just fine and she is not needed. Try not to make an enemy right now because that could just make her jump into action when she may be just thinking about it. It seems like she wants to be guardian of him because of his being the heir of their parents will and she will get her hands on the inheritance any way she can. This sounds like she will try to go to court to win guardianship so have your ducks in a row so to speak. Have lists of caretakers, cleaning people, attorney and any other person she has made noise about you not providing. All she has to do to create a problem is to show the judge that you are somehow lacking in either judgment in money dealings, or not up to par in taking care of him properly. She can create the illusion that you can't take as good care of him as she can. The first instant she causes problems like coming to your house and demanding to take your husband, file a restraining order against her. There is a known action that some people believe while other don't but I've seen it and it's that the first person to get to a judge's ear about problems occurring is usually the person that wins in the end. That means an attorney would usually be the first person to consult the judge (and they do talk behind closed doors) and unfortunately, people are human even judges, and they start to form an opinion as to who the "good guys" are and aren't. Having a restraining order in place already when and if you have to go to court about this will weigh heavily in your favor if you do it before she has a chance to consult an attorney about filing for guardianship. I fully expect an attorney to debunk what I just said about the judge forming an opinion before it gets to his court but they do whether it's admitted or not. cwillie and gladimhere are both correct in suggesting you consult an attorney, especially an Elder Care attorney asap before she does anything. She may have something in the works already and you want to be ready for whatever she brings. She will try to win on the fact that you are disabled as well as your husband and can't possibly take care of him as good as she can. Is he expected to recover from the brain injury or does the doctor expect him to be as healthy as he is now? Good luck, Pandora, when someone has money on the mind as the end result, it can be a powerful thing to know you might get your hands on a lot of it and some people will do just about anything to get it done.
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I agree with Glad, this seems to be about the money she is after. Your daughter lives nearby,, make sure she is aware of this action and may be she can call SIL and warn her off? I can;t imagine any court would award guardianship to someone who has not been in touch for 12 years!And with that kind of history
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Maybe SIL sees the guardianship as a way to get back into parents will through your husband? That would be my guess. Be very careful. You amy want to consider obtaining a restraining order against her.
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Thank you all. My sister-in-law has had no contact with us since 2003. My husband had his accident in 2010 & she never so much as sent a card. This seems to be a matter of the utmost vindictiveness towards me. Sister-in-law does not know me as we have never met but she blames me because her parents wrote her out of their will & left everything to my husband several years ago. She seems determined to cause us problems one way or another. We don't need any support as we are both more than able to take care of ourselves & my daughter lives close by us if we ever do need help.
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She cannot. You are his wife. Do you have his powers of attorney? What may help in your situation is if you find a Geriatric Care Manager for an assessment. Then as needs increase the GCM would help line up any additional services you will need, can help to fine residential care, etc. You may start by calling your Area Agency on Aging. SIL may be concerned that you are overwhelmed with the care. Perhaps she will leave it alone if you find someone that knows the elder care system that will jump in as needed.
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Is she just talking about this or has she already petitioned the court for guardianship? I would contact a lawyer ASAP to represent your family and make sure your side is properly presented.
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