Regulars might recognize me from quite awhile ago. I was in here regularly for 3 years when my father was ill. Everyone here was a tremendous help during a difficult time and our whole family was so appreciative of all the wonderful advice with various problems as they arose. Sadly, in 2008 dad went to join Mom, who'd passed a few years earlier, and though I meant to stay active here, life intervened.
Well, I'm back, as I'm seeking everyone's wisdom once again. A few years back my sister-in-law had to have a leg amputated caused by diabetes complications and other issues. Within a couple of months of that amputation it was decided by her Doctors that her other leg must also be removed to save her life. It's been at least two years now, and she and my brother have had a hard time of it.
They live in another state with no family (never had children). My best friend from childhood goes over twice a week and helps my SIL bath, and straitens up the house. She also helps out whenever something comes up where she's needed. She's a saint, and I love her to death for how she's helping them out (for a mere 20.00/day...a third of which goes for gas for the week to get to their house and back).
Anyway, I degress... I need the advice of all of you. Yesterday my brother (age 66) had a heart attack. They rushed him to the hospital by ambulance and he proceeded to have three stints put in. He hopes to get out on Monday. Theresa (my best friend) told me that the Doctor said he's not to do anything streuous for up to a month.
The problem is, dealing with my SIL, who has no legs and is a large woman, requires strenuous work from time to time, without a doubt. I've suggested they try to hire someone to come in at nights for a few weeks, but money is a big issue with them. It's going to be even bigger when medical bills start coming in for my brother. He failed to get the supplemental insurance last year when he went on Medicare and they are going to take a hit for his copays and portions of his upcoming heart attack care I'm guessing.
The hospital has given him a list of home health care aids, but they all want 20.00/hr and, though they have some money saved, they can't afford that and afford to live on their SS alone with the medical bills they will be dealing with.
They are in Ohio, I am in Arkansas, and can't help them at all. Theresa will try to help as she can, but she's 65 herself, and has her own large extended family that she also takes a lot of responsibility for. She can't do more then she's pretty much already doing.
This is a dire situation for both brother and SIL. According to Theresa, SIL does very little for herself and has relied on him for most everything since the loss of her legs, including bed pans, cleaning up, getting her from the bed into the wheel chair using the Striker (sp?) and back again, bathing, shopping, food prep... she spends most of her time in bed watching TV and depends on him for soooo much. He's just not going to be able to do everything for him now that he's sick too!
My heart aches for my brother... He made his mistake when this all started. He's the type that doesn't like conflict so found it easier to do for her then to go through the effort required to try to make her do more for herself...and now he's paying for that. And she can be quite the demanding woman. I'm afraid that he's going to end up killing himself if they can't get help in some way, if things slip back into the way they were when he goes home and begins to recoup a bit.
Sorry so long. Any ideas or suggestions will be Greatly Appreciated~
A loving sister who's really worried...