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I have been posting on here about things happening with my father. Recently my SIL asked for money but she is not understanding what I am telling her, that my father needs that money for his care. I first said that I can send half, I never said that I will send it or that it is on it's way, but things have changed with my father since telling her that and I can't send any because he needs it and it’s morally wrong. I have POA and even though I verbally told her I can send it, I have the right to change my mind as I need to do what is in his best interest, not hers. Yesterday, she responded to the text I sent her on wednesday saying that I can't send any money, I went into great detail as to why, she said she is disappointed with how the situation turned out, that she trusted my word that I would send it, that I left her in a tough spot as she has signed a contract and hired a contractor to do the repairs. Why is that my father’s responsibility? I really hope that she wouldn’t be so evil as to have hired the contractor AFTER I told her no and push this on him to make him responsible.


She is not going to let up and is going to fight me on this, she needs to ask her relatives for help and back off. I can’t have her written out of the Living Trust because my father would never agree to that and my brother asked my dad to give her his inheritance, but I had no idea that she was such a selfish, greedy, unfeeling, b*****. If my brother was here, he would agree with me and would stop this. I know that he is really sad watching from above what is happening


Does anyone have any ideas about how I can handle this?

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Thank you all for your responses.

After my last text a few days ago, she finally let up. I told her that it was stupid to hire someone before having money to pay him. I have learned to not say that I can send money unless it is actually on the way. She OWES me money for the emotional and physical distress that she has caused me over this. I just might take out a little from that account after he passes. She is lucky she will get anything.

A lesson for everyone, SAVE as much as you can to make sure you have some money when you retire, cut back on everything and do without to get something in the bank. People don't NEED to eat out, buy groceries and cook at home to save that money and people don't need a lot of food to survive nor do they need to buy the latest tech stuff. Everyone seems to live beyond their means, really think about what is a necessity, then they wonder why they have no money left.

assandache7 - She did buy her first house outright with the first money my father sent, it was under $100,000.00, where she lives the cost of living is really low, you can get a lot for your money. Where I live it's the opposite.

lindylu and Rainmom - I told her it was irresponsibile to hire a contractor before she had any money.

lindylu - in my last text I said that I have to follow the paperwork.

Linda22 - I agree, cancelling the contractor shouldn't be too hard, or keep him and figure out how to pay him.
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The key here is your brother asked that Dad give her his inheritance. Inheritance is what's left of Dad's money AFTER he passes away. Right now, it's his money for his care and living expenses. If she tells the contractor that she has to cancel the contract due to lack of funds, I highly doubt he'll be silly enough to push the issue knowing he may have to battle for the money.
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I agree with assandache, no means no. SIL can continue to pester you, but you don't need to keep re-explaining yourself - just ignore her. Keeping your fathers resources available for his use is the responsible thing to do in my opinion. If your SIL signed contracts prior to having the money to pay for things - it is her poor decision and your father is not responsible for bailing her out. You are seeing a side of her that is clearly disappointing and hurtful for you now but use it as a lesson learned.
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Ugh darn phone. Requesting that you compromise a legal responsibility to your dad.
She signed a contract before she knew she had the funds for it. Your dad did not sign it. It is not nice of her to be putting this pressure on you when she knows you have your hands full.
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Glendalough, just tell her that you that you know she doesn't understand the position you are in and you are sorry she's in a bind. That you've tried to explain that it is taking a while to sort out what is going on with your dad and right now you have to follow what is written in his paperwork. She is asking you to compromise a role your dad reqiest
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Didn't she buy a house with your fathers money and now wants to fix up another house?

She can sell the first house and be happy with the money..Yikes she'll have a lot of dough.. Does she plan on giving your father back the money he gave her to buy the house in the first place?

Tell her to shove off!

She got her money, which was technically your brothers..

She's a grown women and NO means NO!!

Stop texting her and don't answer her calls...
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