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My mother cries and regrets her giving NY sister splash..I'm told by some family.that there isn't a.thing we can change..not even an attorney can change it..she over drafts my moms bank.which.none.of.us to include my mom know what she's done with moms money..had two cars repoed..and forclised her home of 48 years..took all items.of moms gave to a couple family members others. (I got nothing..I was one of them..its just stuff..I want my momma)..and I don't get why mom's only bill left isn't paid such as her funeral bill..we had hospice last year..my sister told family we owe it to my mom to pay due to all she's.done.for us...my sister rules medical with putting her on.dnr with no family..we saw it on her bed...that's how we knew..my mom can't speak or walk she Lays her in bed 19 hours a day
.no one can go to her house and visit my mom mainly if she is mad if you disagree with her..my sister puts me down and says the worst things like my momma didn't love me no way..I'm just jelious cause I can't spend Moms money and so much more..even causes trouble with my grown children such as tells them things about me they never needed to know causing them and me much pain.as most.was lies or things I needed them to know about me before they were born..like I used to be on walfare and such...she is so hateful that I didn't see my mom two years after her stroke...do I have hope to help my mom without buying an Attorney as I don't have.it. And my sister eats out always and plays lotto with my moms card..my lists.goes oxn and on.

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Thanks for all the encouragement..I am forced to let mom go..after two and a half years I have to let it go. I have to accepts this was mommas choice. Good or bad she made it ..I take my mom in today. GOD Only knows how much I adore her..this is just a battle I'm not able to win. My sister has her own choices in life..she is grown and has to know keeping a mother from its child is unbearable..but..she did ..time heals all wounds they say..I don't feel that is always true..one has to adjust to the pain..that's what I am going to do..I know I am right ..its a tragic injustice..however..life is sure not always fair..and we don't always get tl pick our battles for sure..thanks again and I could only hope my story could help others ..not to ever fight or be greedy..that's all this is.greed for things..and money that's just compulsively spent..on junk really..things we all live well without really..thank you again
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I agree with above, contact your local adult protective service. A dpoa can only spend mom's money for mom's needs. Have you spoke to your sister about your moms condition? Maybe she feels alone, I'm sure you have offered to assist but some people need to have the control. Maybe you can talk with your sister and say 'lets work together' for moms benefit. I understand what it's like to have family conflict. I hope things work out between the two of you.
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All great responses so far! Try to work with your sister about spending time with Mom if that is what your wish is. Leave the other stuff alone once reported. It may be that you just are not aware of the whole picture but it could be something is a muck. Let the authorities figure that out stay out of it once you make the report. Concentrate on your Mom and time with her. Life is precious and each day a present we cannot go back to claim. Prayers for all involved.
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Ask your sister what you can do to help her take care of your Mom.
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Well, althogh mom can't validly change her POA decision now, so it does become a question of gaurdianship; a POA can be removed for mismanaging and exploiting rather than serving the person they are POA for. Overdrafts and non-payment of bills would be mismanaging for sure. DNR may not be wrong, but financial abuse would be if you can document it. How are you finding out about these things from out of state?

I marked both of the above comments helpful, because though they seem to say opposite things, they are both right!
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Your mom is living with your sister, I take it.

LadyLee has the best answer, but I have another take:

Why did your mom have a mortgage on a home she'd owned for 48 years? It should have been paid off 20+ years ago. So, what that tells me is that she took out a home equity loan on the house. It's possible she owed more on the house than it was worth, and that's why your sister let it go to foreclosure.

Also possible your mom just couldn't afford the mortgage payment any longer. As to giving her things away, if the house had to be emptied, it's not unusual for people to give things away to family and then have a charity come and empty out the rest. Nobody needs a house-full of furniture. Hard to find a place for all of it.

If your mom can't speak or walk and was on hospice last year, it sounds like a DNR is appropriate. Most people don't just come up with that directive out of the blue. It's quite possible it was suggested to her. And if she's on hospice now? That's standard operating procedure.

It sounds as though your mom trusted her daughter enough to give her POA. And it also sounds like she's doing the heavy lifting right now. It's pretty obvious you've had a poor relationship with your sister for some time. Hopefully, you can make some sort of peace with her so you'll be able to spend some quiet time with mom.

I hope so.
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Contact your local Adult Protective Services office. It is against the law to financially exploit someone who is a vulnerable adult.
Some one will have to be willing to make claims to all she has done and the APS office can help your Mom get a new Guardian.
Do it ASAP
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