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My Mom is 92 yrs. old & has been living with me for 14yrs. now! She can barely hold herself up with her walker to get from point A to B. She is in constant pain with her hip that is bone on bone! Mom decided against the hip replacement and lives on Norco to control the pain! I'm very stressed out as her caregiver & would like my sister to get more involved. When I asked her to help me with the decision making re: Mom, she told me that was my issue & doesn't want to get involved anymore!
Would appreciate your feedback on this situation!

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blannie stated it so well. My brothers haven't been involved with the caregiving. One brother who is POA and lives several states away told me to make decisions that were needed and he would back them. It sounds a little like what your sister might have been saying -- do what you think best and she will not oppose what you decide. You and your mother's medical team are in a better position to know what your mother needs.
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Doesn't want to get involved "any more"? Or never wanted to get involved and doesn't plan to start now? After 14 years you can't fault her consistency, at least, can you?!

I agree with Pam, FF and Blannie, all of them, one way or another. On a slightly more consoling note, though, since your sister hasn't been involved for so long, what insight or expertise could she possibly contribute? - your judgement is going to be infinitely superior, and you should have confidence in it.

What are your options for ongoing care for your mother? Does she have a good medical team you can discuss them with? And what is your mother's view?
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I would go ahead and make the decisions regarding your mom. I've been responsible for my mom for 13 years. My brother has taken himself out of the decision-making process. I'm lucky in that he doesn't second-guess or criticize me. He lives states away, so I just handle everything. Since you've been doing that too, from what you're saying, decide what is best for your mom. Talk to her doctor and anyone else who could help you make the right decision about the place that's right for her. It definitely sounds like she needs more care than you can manage. Good luck and please keep us posted on how things are going.
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daffey, has your sister been saying for years it is time for your Mom to go into a continuing care facility? If so, your sister is probably tired of the whole thing, year after year, and you've been doing what you want the whole time. Too bad she can't step up to help you make the decision.
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Make her put that in writing, because I suspect she will be the first one to tell everyone it wasn't her decision. Coward.
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