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What do I need to expect she came once to talk to my mother she will be back. My sister thinks my mother has a lot of money and she don't. I guess I will find out when the lady comes back.

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In the care I have to get up early 6am every morning get her meds and a nourshing drink of water, juice or milk also boost or ensure drink. I make smoothies fresh with fruit and veggies. I also make homemade meals that I know she can swallow (small Mac and cheese meals, spaghetti w' sauce and soups) I have to use thinkeners to make it easier to swallow. I don't get to bed at night till 12 am....some days I work 4-6 hours outside the home and have family care for her or she goes to adult care during the week day
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I had a tough situation like you. I am the sole caregiver to my mom who is 75 yes old with Parkinson's and Dementia I was told she has Lewy Body Dementia. I have been the one taking care of her for 5 yrs. I work 2 jobs of which I am being laid off next month (really happy about the lay off been through it 4 times with the same company for 15 yrs...) I also work as a caregiver outside the home for a senior care agency in Columbus, Ohio. I also have a son with Autism who is 21 yes old. I have a 20 yr old daughter who had a baby April 2013 so I am also a grandma. I am very greatful for all I do for my mom and working as a caregiver however my son-in-law and I lock horns. I am a very protective mom and if I suspect abuse whether it be verbal, emotional or physical I will step in and voice my opinion. He has hurt her emotionally by cheating on her and telling her not yo be a part of her grandma's life and care. I told him I felt he was a ass and my daughter needed to divorce him. He hated me in that he called the Aging agency and made false claims of abuse he also stated I was malnurishing my mom. first of all my mom has Dysphasia with difficulty in swallowing and can't eat or drink like she used to. I have to crush up her meds and put in yogurt or foods like that to get her to eat. He has no concept on the care I do and the fact I do it without complaints. I love my mom and will take care of her for as long as I can. I had a case worker out and explained the referral was made by a jerk who is uncaring and taking recourse on the fact I told him my daughter and him should divorce. All is good now with the agency but I have hired a lawyer to file a harassment charge and filing of false allegations. I also put a restraint order on him from making more complaints on me and must have proof in order to file complaints. He woukd also call child services on his own wife for bogus claims. The agency could not believe the claims and seen the loving caring person I was.
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This does not sound like an investigator will go nosing around. This situation is very personal. Everything is mainly up to your mother. If she feels better in your care, put it writing or on tape and send it to your sister. If she wants you to be executor and caregiver, have her sign a contract. Be honest. If there is bad blood between you and your sister, don't let that interfere with your judgement.
Do not write your sister out of the will, that will bring investigators. Chances are you will need all her money just to take care of her anyway.
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My sister called The Office of the Aging and I was investigate abuse allegations they came to my home my mother talked to them I left the room. and I came in later it was a good thing its been a few months and I told them she was the one steeling money and my fathers guns. I also have POA and I take her to the Dr.s and he knows all of whats going on. Stay strong and state the true facts. hold your head high and do the best you can. God bless you.
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I think the advice vstefans gave is very good. When I first started my caregiving situation, I came into (inherited) a situation where already abuse (financial and physical) allegations were being leveled at my father, and he was being looked at by local Dept of Aging investigators. At his request, I went into his and GMs home to help and found myself being accused of abuse as well. I learned that as long as you are truly there to help, the social workers who drop in on you and ask you those nosy questions really ARE your friends, and its just their job to figure out whats going on. In my situation, the social worker sent to investigate abuse allegations turned into one of my best allies. She was willing to go to bat for me after she was convinced that I was there in best interest of my GM/dad, and she told me that I could have outside meddling family contact her directly with their suspicions. She helped me get everything sorted out… well, sort of… there's nothing one can do about family that is going to be overly suspicious, accusatory, jealous, meddling… if they won't bring their head out of their arse after you are cleared of wrongdoing, there's nothing more you can do. Ideally, you will be cleared and will get an APOLOGY. I wouldn't hold my breath, though. ;D

My point is that these investigators can quickly become your allies. Just lay out all the cards and disclose to them IF you are struggling to get proper food or medical care, or anything like that. Just lay it all out and they will help you and see that you are trying your best. Thats my opinion of that "system."
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And hey, let us know how it turns out!
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if they are any good at their job, and they usually are, they will come in, assess that you are doing good care and Mom needs care, and unfound the case. Be pleasant and cooperative with them, they will also understand a little bit of nervousness, and resist any impulse to chew them out for being there and asking pretty personal questions which they more or less have to do. One thing you want to do is make sure legal papers are in order. It sounds like Sis is in denial and possibly really believes that you are more or less holding mom against her will. She finds this easier to believe than thinking Mom is losing ground. Once you are sure you have secured your own position, you may want to try to reach out to Sis if you think she might be doing this out of caring or concern rather than greed and give her reports, etc. that confirm that Mom needs care and probably should not be uprooted from your care.
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The Office of the Aging will connect you to services that you are entitled to, and sometimes arrange in home PT or OT, get you walkers and canes. If Mom qualifies for Medicaid, HEAP, food stamps, they will help her apply for it. If at some point mom needs a nursing home, they help with that too.
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I been taking care of my mom and dad for 4ys now my dad passed away a year ago and mom took it real bad,she also was dianoised with Parkinson so she moved in with husband and I.Everything was good until she moved in,I have a sister that lives out of state and doesn't like that our mom lives with me,she wanted her to live with her out of state,mom don't want to,my sister call up and ret everybody upset,tells my mom I am brainwasher her,and there is nothing wrong with her ,r out of state with she could live by herself,my mom been in and out of hospital for bad nerves,Is there anything I can do that she can't call and upset us my mom doesn't want to be bothered anymore with her cause she starts trouble,Do I have any rites so my sister cant keep upsetting our life its stressful enough
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