Thanks.. for POA advice .. I don’t want to ruin my sisters life.. but moving forward want financial exploitation to stop.. guess need to talk to elder lawyer even if it costs a bit. Is there a family counseling organization that can help with elder parent and sibling issues?
Our elder care attorney was very helpful. After she gave my sister and I legal advice, she said, OK I am off the clock now, I want you two to understand:
1. Do not EVER say you will never put mom in Nursing Home. You cannot tell the future. The only likely guarantee I can give you is that 5 years from now, either your mom will be dead or all 3 of you will be in worse shape, and caring for her at home will be more difficult.
2. Mom cannot make gifts without jeoparding Medicaid eligibility.
My point -- have lawyer explain to mom the consequences
A new POA must be prepared. Maybe sis will make formal by way of a notarized statement withdrawing from POA position.
Is mom competent? If so she can have a new POA prepared leaving sis off. If mom is competent she can allow sis to use the funds. How much money are we talkimg about? Maybe sis can repay it.
Have you asked sis what the checks are for? Maybe she is repaying herself for mom's expenses that she can backup with receipts.
This is tricky. If your mother knew what was happening, your sister has a reasonable argument that mother authorised or allowed it. Sister is still supposed to use the POA for your mother’s benefit, but it does get a bit murky.
In terms of what to do, it would be best if mother cancels the POA to sister immediately. Are they in one document? If so she may need a new document, if the name can't just be crossed out. All the banks, credit cards etc need to be informed that the old POA is not valid, they can’t be expected to guess about it.
Regarding ‘emotionally volatile’, anyone who has been caught out in wrongdoing like this, with major legal consequences, is going to be ‘emotionally volatile’ ie crack a major major meltdown. You can’t use that as a reason not to deal with this.
In terms of ‘alienating family’, you may feel that it’s a decision for you to make, based on what this has done to your mother’s financial situation. Will it stop her getting Medicaid? Or paying for her own care? If so, the alienated family will just have to live with the fall-out, one way or the other – what’s happened can’t be kept secret. If it hasn’t affected mother’s finances badly, perhaps you decide to stop it happening again and leave it at that. Just bear in mind that doing that puts you in the gun legally for ‘aiding and abetting’.
You can sweetly remind her that taking advantage of a vulnerable person is a crime and that the money had better be back in Mom's account before the cops show up.
1. Do not EVER say you will never put mom in Nursing Home. You cannot tell the future. The only likely guarantee I can give you is that 5 years from now, either your mom will be dead or all 3 of you will be in worse shape, and caring for her at home will be more difficult.
2. Mom cannot make gifts without jeoparding Medicaid eligibility.
My point -- have lawyer explain to mom the consequences
Is mom competent? If so she can have a new POA prepared leaving sis off. If mom is competent she can allow sis to use the funds. How much money are we talkimg about? Maybe sis can repay it.
Have you asked sis what the checks are for? Maybe she is repaying herself for mom's expenses that she can backup with receipts.
In terms of what to do, it would be best if mother cancels the POA to sister immediately. Are they in one document? If so she may need a new document, if the name can't just be crossed out. All the banks, credit cards etc need to be informed that the old POA is not valid, they can’t be expected to guess about it.
Regarding ‘emotionally volatile’, anyone who has been caught out in wrongdoing like this, with major legal consequences, is going to be ‘emotionally volatile’ ie crack a major major meltdown. You can’t use that as a reason not to deal with this.
In terms of ‘alienating family’, you may feel that it’s a decision for you to make, based on what this has done to your mother’s financial situation. Will it stop her getting Medicaid? Or paying for her own care? If so, the alienated family will just have to live with the fall-out, one way or the other – what’s happened can’t be kept secret. If it hasn’t affected mother’s finances badly, perhaps you decide to stop it happening again and leave it at that. Just bear in mind that doing that puts you in the gun legally for ‘aiding and abetting’.
Difficult situation, you have my sympathy.
Astrol, please do not alter the POA in this way, it can cause unnecessary problems for you.
https://www.napsa-now.org/get-informed/what-is-financial-exploitation/