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I moved her in with my family for 2 yrs. & was able to be her caregiver. Dementia set in, on top of all her many health problems, began to fall a lot. She broke her neck from a fall at my house. ER, hospital stay & then rehab. While in the rehabilitation facility, slid out of wheelchair & broke her hip. ER, hospital & surgery, inpatient rehab hospital & then to a nursing home. Covid hit & I couldn't be there to move her in or get her set up. She has been there for 4 months now. Staff doesn't have the eyes of family anymore. I believe they have become even lazier with paying attention to the patients. My mom is totally dependent on the RN's & the CNA's. They stick the call chain where she can't reach it. She has to get her neighbor to get it for her. If she calls they have ignored her or comes in abt 45 mins to an hour later. They don't give her showers only bed baths. She has a Foley that is not flushed regularly, her vagina is always red & painful. Usually has a horrible smell. 4 visits to ER in 4 months, 3 caused by the NH's neglect. Example: they removed her Foley & couldn't get it back in. She didn't urinate for 3 days! She was in severe pain. I had NO idea what was happening until the 3rd night they called me to tell me she was going to ER for stomach issues. I met her at ER. Within 25 mins., they emptied 1324 units off bladder! I can count on one hand how many times I have been notified, updated or informed about anything! I had to request my own care plan meeting! I got her a cellphone so she can call me. She will call me balling! Sometimes 5 to 10 times a day. They don't turn her while in bed, just left to hurt, sit in her bm's or urine, left in a wheelchair in room. She has 2 bedsores. I could go on & on.


She has been in hospital for 6 days for severe compaction constipation, which I was never informed about. Hospital was releasing her today & she immediately started having severe chest & side pains, crying to almost point of vomiting. I know she hates the place because the staff doesn't take care of her correctly! I don't even know if hospital is still going to release her today. They gave her a pain medication & she is resting now. I am about to have a total melt down. I don't know what to do! I have called the DON several times but not much change. I call nursing station to check on her. I am told she is doing well! I just don't know what to do!


Suggestions, advice, ANY HELP would be appreciated.

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Please call the following organizations and ask for help ASAP - county social services office, county office for council on aging, local health department, Alzheimer’s support group, family doctor or any elder abuse organization. Hopefully one of these can help before your mother becomes very ill.
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Reply to Rose2020
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Other nursing homes exist. The hospital CAN DISCHARGE her to a DIFFERENT nursing home, if that new nursing home agrees. The upcoming patient DISCHARGE, is the time to do it. Talk to the hospital unit's social worker, about DIFFERENTnursing home options. DO NOT ALLOW HER TO BE discharged back into that nursing home.
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Reply to Screennamed
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Have you called the ombudsmen to investigate?
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Reply to MACinCT
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I only read about half of your post. Get her out of that nursing home asap. How negligent. I would consider consult with an elder attorney and report them to Elder Services. Your poor mother. I do not care if they are unstaffed, this is unacceptable and needs to be addressed. Make sure you write a letter to administration at the nursing home, signed and dated and a copy of the ER report. Save a copy for you. Refuse to send her back to that nursing home and speak to Social Service. I just finished the rest of your post and If it was my mother, I would be furious. No excuse. Please update us. I am disgusted with the care of your mother. "On the verge of being neglected", she is severly neglected. DO NOT ALLOW HER TO BE TRANFERRED BACK TO THAT NURSING HOME.
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Reply to earlybird
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You do not tell me your Mom's age. She clearly would qualify for hospice care now, and this would give her better followup and care. Please ask for hospice for your Mom. The bedsores alone could take her into systemic sepsis at any time; she needs more careful monitoring. So sorry. This is sounding like a miserable end of life. There are unfortunately few inpatient hospice facilities as there were in the past; if you could get that it would be best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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buenobn Jun 27, 2020
My mom is 73 yrs old. After being released back to NH, Pallitive Care is supposed to call to get her enrolled. Being that all this happened late Friday afternoon, nobody is in anywhere. I called to meet with the Administer of the NH but he was gone. I called his business cellphone & left a message that I need a face to face meeting to discuss some important issues...no call back.
I have researched about my TX ombudsmen in my area. Looks like a good place to start I guess. I am leary about reaching out to that kind of group. I had a bad experience years ago w a company I worked for. My new boss was bullying me. I reached to the company's ombudsmen & they secretly was on the bosses side, another story for another time. Come Monday a lot of people might come to despise me. This is my mom & she doesn't deserve to live like this!
Thank you all for your advice💞
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