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My Mom is 72 years old. She is pretty much independent however she is getting difficult to deal with. She thinks people are getting in her house and taking food or rearranging stuff. She has emotional outbursts with me. She thinks people are against her if they give her an odd look. I can't do anything right with her. You can't please her. She tells me I disappoint her because I don't put her first. She's forgetting little things like where she put her keys. The keys haven't been placed in the freezer. She's constantly rearranging the pantry or something. She says her head feels fuzzy. She complains of feeling bugs on her or biting her. The tv is so loud that its hard to stay in the same room with her. She get irritated so easily. She's always been a hard one to please but however its become increasingly more evident. Can anyone help me to understand. She's still very independent. She drives but she says mean things to not only me but others and its masked as care and concern. Help!

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The very first clue I had about my mom, was that she totally forgot things that had happened the day before. "Don't you remember, Robert was over yesterday, and we had that nice talk?". She would have no memory of it.

Anything that happens with an old person, anything that gives you pause, act on it.
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How close am I to loosing my husband?
All of a sudden his appetite is diminishing. Cannot tell if he is hungry or not and eats much less than usually. He is losing his sense of direction, does not know which way to turn with the walker to get from the bathroom to the living room or bedroom. Looking at recent pictures he does not recognize himself and cannot associate his name with himself. Has constant very loose bowel movements in spite of the Immodium I give him. Has diabetes 2, high blood pressure, takes a lot of pills every day, which may be part of the cause. He is tired all day. What can I do?
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It sounds familiar. My cousin acted much like your mom and within a year, she was not able to care for herself in her home any more. It varies by person and the type of condition they have, but it can progress quickly in steps or gradually. Physical issues also emerge.

I would not delay to pursue certain issues: Safety,. Medical, Financial and Legal.

Does your mom have a Power of Attorney and Health Care POA? If not, is she still capable to appoint one? It's difficult to help your mom if she needs it without these documents. If she has them, I would try to get the originals in my possession while she knows where they located.

And how would she pay for assistance if she needs it down the road? There are legal ways to protect assets, so I would consult with an Elder Care attorney to get advice on that. Timing is crucial as Medicaid looks at previous transfers of property and income. Get advice on that.

Your mom could have a medical condition that might explain her behavior. Her doctor could rule out bladder infections, stroke, etc. Or she might have a medication reaction or some other psychiatric condition. I'd start with her doctor, but make sure you get the POA ASAP if that is possible.

I would be concerned if she is still driving or cooking. I hesitate to tell you to hide the keys until you figure out what's going on, but I think I would. She may just think she's lost them.

Do you have someone else in the family to help you deal with this? I wish you the best. I've been there and it's not easy. It's very hard to get them help if they resist.

Sadly, something traumatic usually happens if this is dementia. They may eventually suffer a fall, get lost, damage property or suffer some crisis if there is no intervention. Good luck.
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It does sound like she has something going on. Her doctor is the one to help here. It may be that she has dementia or she could be having small strokes. The could also be things like urinary tract infection, dehydration, low oxygen, poor diet, or depression that can contribute to some of these symptoms. The loud TV sounds like hearing loss. 72 is young to be having many age-related symptoms, so I would take her to her doctor and let him/her know what is going on with your mother. Let us know what the doctors say.

The first thing I noticed in my mother, who has an unspecified dementia, was her loss of reasoning ability that made her do crazy things. And there was a lot of anger when I would try to stop her from doing these things. I knew something was wrong years before a doctor finally said there was. I know how you are feeling right now.
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Get her the doctor for a complete physical including a check for a uti, wax in her ears and a hearing test. Call her doctor beforehand and express your concerns. Go with her to the appointment.
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