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My mom is ok sometimes, but other times she is socially inappropriate, overly familiar with strangers and filters nothing. She thinks she is being charming or something and not all welcome her intrusion in their space. One man actually barked at her at the check out at the market because she was all up in his face while he was keying in his pin. She wants to hug and kiss everyone on the mouth and thinks it is cute to leave lipstick on them. (yuck) When were you sure it was time to get your loved one evaluated by a specialist and how did you break it to them and convince them that this is what needs to happen?

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I am assuming you are talking about Alzheimer's/dementia?? During 2010 my mother's memory started going, she would forget a persons name she had a long association with. Give her a couple minutes she would recall the person's name. She would forget the name of an object for example, she was telling me about the round thing you put on the wall, the thing for fire. Oh, a smoke alarm!! I associated all this with age. Then in November of 2010, mother had surgery for a hernia in the groin, an out patient procedure. The next day I took her out around town for errands since she couldn't drive after the procedure for 3 weeks. She was showing signs of confusion in regards to familiar places and where to go. She couldn't keep information straight on her post-op care. I thought this was due to the medication she had the day before. A week later she got confused and twisted up some other information. I talked with my sister and my brother asking them if they noticed this too. They said yes. I went to her PCP, telling him what was going on and he said it sounded to him like Alzheimer's/dementia considering how forgotful she has become. Mother refused to accept this when we talked with her about it. She refused all the medications such as Namenda, Aricept, etc. It's been almost two years now and she recently lost her driving privileges, she has paranoid episodes since around March of this year thinking we are trying to steal from her (this is all normal for Alzheimer's/dementia). She hid financial files in the trunk of her car and accused my sister of stealing them. If your mother is a cooperating type of person, you may want to schedule an appointment with her PCP and tell him/her what is going on. There may be a medication to help or it may be a waiting game until she progresses further. You have been given some wonderful advice in terms of checking her current medications with her dr., and I agree with wuvsicecream's advice. Telling my mother what we suspected was the worst thing we could have done because her normal personality is to agrue and fight about anything that might be wrong with her. We were able to catch it early because my father also had Alzheimer's so we knew the signs. Good luck to you and keep us posted!!
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My husbands behavior got so bad at home that I had to pick up the phone and dial for help. The first time the ambulance took him to the hospital. The second time the police and the ambulance came. The professionals were so nice and understanding to our family. Thats how I got him some help. Something had to be done!
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onlyme I am actually very proud of you, thinking this a serious issue and action needs to be taken is the first step. I am impressed because I see people like this everyday (I am a hairdresser and have many elder customers) and I pull the family member aside and explain that the personality is changing etc. I usually get the feeling they care but don't want to deal with it then a few months go by and they seek my knowledge, usually after something really goes wrong. So pat yourself on the back... the first step. My first advice is don't act like your in charge this never works. Don't let her know, you know, there is a need for your assistance or that you are doing things to help, just do what you need to do (keep her on a need to know basis). This may sound impossible or sneaky but dealing with a mentally unstable person is tricky. What you think is the normal way to handle things seems to blow up in your face. Everyone is different and her behavior can be caused for many different reasons .
Is she on any medications, if so are they taken as prescribed that's a start. She should get to a Dr to be examined but her behaviors need to be translated to the Dr. ... the Dr. may not see what you do, as far as different personality. Don't tell the Dr. in front of her (she may think your going against her or something like that). I suggest you find a Dr. that knows her first, and ask Dr. to suggest a specialist, if she needs further evaluation. I say this for two reasons she may not feel comfortable if the Dr. or office is out of the norm. and if the Dr. knows her he may see what your concerns are due to knowing her already. Try this for starters. You can't go forward until you know what your dealing with or what the cause is. One step at a time. Just keep in mind your doing what's best for her, even though she may resist your efforts. keep us posted
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I'd say it was past due for an evaluation.
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