Can mom's Alzheimer's be getting worse?

Dementia is a slow progressing disease. Sudden changes in behavior usually are indicative of delirium. Delirium is a rapid onset of severe confusion and behavioral changes, caused by some type of infection. Behavior changes most frequently seen are either increased lethargy (sleepiness) or agitation. The agitation might be verbal or physical or both.
The most common cause of delirium in a person with dementia or an elderly person is a urinary tract infection (UTI). Delirium is dangerous for a person with dementia as a UTI can be fatal for a person with late stage dementia. People with delirium need to be seen by a physician or in the ER immediately. If your mother was in a community, the nursing staff would immediately request a urine sample and additional lab work to find the source of the infection and begin treatment.

Jeanne - to me ,the brain is always very interesting. Like the universe, I am convinced we will never fully understand it. Losing your dad would be a very different experience. We grow up expecting to lose our parents, but, not necessarily a partner. And the additional stress of years of care giving do take their toll. It is important to have confidence in oneself, and to be kind to oneself.

catchlab - I am in no way saying it is not stressful to lose a parent, it is, and moreso, if caregiving has been involved. Cognitive impairment can be considered normal, I believe, after any loss. I understand you being worried with Alz in your family. The best thing you can do is as I suggested to jeanne - look after yourself, eat sensibly, get enough rest/sleep etc.

Anyone may find him/herself "seeing" a loved on in a crowd, momentarily disbelieving that they have gone, and similar experiences, and you can think that you are going a little crazy. All of that is normal in grief. It takes a while for our brains to adjust to the loss. I had a strange experience shortly after losing a friend. Walking down the hallways at work, they seemed to "bulge" in and out. I have found that others have weird sensory experiences too, after loss. Again, it is normal.

To anyone grieving, taking a break from grief, when you can, is a good thing. Listen to your favourite music, do something that uplifts you. People can feel guilty about enjoying themselves after they have lost someone, Again that is normal.

There seem to be certain times when the grief really hits us. The first stage is the "numb" stage which can last several months, it varies with individuals, and although you feel the pain, the body protects you to some extent. After that the pain comes on in full force, and needs to be felt, and expressed. I found after losing my son, Gordie, that at three months the pain came on. Six months was bad too, and nine months particularly bad, and I have observed that in others. Then one year and so on. Of course, any special days, birthdays, holidays etc are harder too. It helps to plan something for those days, which include the loved lost one on some way. Things like burnng a special candle, playing special music etc.

Newer research in grief talks about the changed, but continuing relationsship with the lost one. The older model had people "getting over" the loss and moving on. I am more comfortable with the newer model, which includes moving forward, or through the loss, but not expecting those left behind to completely "get over" the loss. Klass et al.’s Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief (1996) talks about "an ongoing inner relationship with the deceased person by the bereaved individual".

(((((((hugs))))) to all who have lost a loved one. Joan

My mom still sleeps a lot, sometimes she does try not to take her meds, she will either drop them or hide them on her plate. Alzheimer's and the research on the disease doesn't quite help the care giver on knowing what to expect on any given day. Each day is a new challenge.

emjo, Thanks for your comments about stress-related cognitive impairment. I'm experiencing that also and it is worrisome, especially when you have Alzheimer's in your family history. Your remarks are helpful and make me feel better.

I am sorry about your mother's decline.

Yes, dementia can progress suddenly. (Some kinds of dementia are more subject to this than others.) And any kind of virus or physical ailment can make the dementia symptoms much worse.

I wonder if it is time to have a hospice evaluation for your mother?

fairyland927. my heart goes out to you. I think all caregivers have times of fear about doing the right thing. Even doctors don't always know what is the right thing with dementia. All any of us can do is out best. My husband's hospice nurse and social worker were both very reassuring on that point. You are doing your best. You are giving your parents the wonderful gift of spending the final part of their life journey in familiar surrounding, cared for by someone they love. You cannot prevent them from dying but you are keeping them comfortable and assured they are loved. That is a huge blessing for all of you.

The fact that your mother is on hospice is an indicator that she is in the final stage of her dementia (at least as well as the medical profession can tell that). Sleeping all day can be a sign that the end is near. For some of the symptoms to be getting worse (such as memory problems) is also consistent with an end-of-life scenario. This is something that the hospice nurse can help you evaluate and understand.

Do your best. Try to be at peace with that.

jeannegibbs, I am getting off topic for a moment. I'm sorry to read that your husband died. I've read many of your posts in the past and you have offered excellent information and advice. I hope you are coping and I wish you well.

Wow, Joan, that is really very interesting and helpful. Thank you for sharing. This also explains why I did not experience the same kind of mourning when my father died. Losing him was stressful, but it wasn't preceded by years of stressful caregiving.

I too am confident that I will get back to "normal," and I am being patient.

Thanks, catchlab. It has been just over a month, and I am coping, more or less. There have been hard days and better days. What really surprised me is the cognitive impairment -- I seemed to have dementia myself! That is getting better (or maybe I am just getting used to it -- a scary thought!)

jeannegibbs, I started reading this thread because I see signs of my mother's dementia worsening but sometimes she has periods of seeming worse and then it levels out. I moved her into assisted living back in June when she had a major downturn and that has been a lifesaver for me. Fortunately, she gets wonderful care and there are only 4 residents so the care is personal and very hands-on. Even though it is a huge relief not to be her active caregiver, I visit her almost everyday. However, I still miss her greatly, her presence, her former self. And she keeps slipping away in front of me. Of course, this what all of us in this situation go through. Even though your caregiving journey is over, which is a relief I'm sure, I can imagine your deep sadness. I hope you will continue to contribute your insights to the caregiver forum for a long time to come. You've helped a lot of folks, I'm sure of that.