My brothers and sister are all caregivers for my mom but my sister has become a martyr about it. She blathers on and on about how she has to do everything, she can't get her work done, etc. Recently our mom suffered a fall. We had the situation well under control, but my sister cancelled her vacation and raced home then proceeded to complain about her ruined vacation. Everything she does for my mom she makes sure we never hear the end of it, while the rest of us just help her as needed and don't pull the whole martyr act.
Also, I don't think she is really helping our mom when she instantly drops whatever she is doing to cater to moms demands. For example, I'll ask my mom if she needs anything at the store. She says no, then when I get home will say she wants Ginger Ale. I say "fine, I'll get it tomorrow" and stick to this. My sister, on the other hand, makes several trips a day to the store to cater to moms every whim then, of course, complains about it.
Frankly, when mom passes, I don't want my sister in my life anymore. In the meantime,mins there a way to get her to come down from her self-imposed cross and stop the martyr act, it's tiresome.