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Mom has been diagnosed with dementia. Several years ago my parents informed me they had created a Living Trust and their last wills. They put me on their signature card at their bank. Dad (who died from Alzheimer's 6 years ago) began instructing me regarding his financial investments, insurance policies, and other assets. My parents explained to me that, regardless of how fair they tried to be, my siblings were too jealous of me and would not be happy no matter what was decided. It was their wish that my siblings not know of the trust or wills until after they had both deceased. Thankfully, this is what happened for Dad, but not so for Mom. Mom depended on me to handle the legal and financial issues following my Dad's death.. However, the attorney we used to update the trust following Dad's death sent copies of the trust to me and my siblings. It was like baiting a cage full of sharks with red meat. Four years ago Mom was diagnosed with progressive dementia. That diagnosis has only intensified the onslaught by my siblings. They have taken from Mom's home everything they (or their children) desire that has been bequeathed to someone else. The more I try to accept what they have done, the more bold they become until I feel as though my childhood home has been ravaged. One sibling moved thousands of dollars from the Trust account to her personal account and only returned these funds when I threatened to file charges on her. Now, Mom's truth depends on who she is with at the moment and her dementia makes her suspect any and everyone that enters her home of taking her things. I seldom get to spend time alone with her and feel as if I have already lost my mother. My siblings and their children never had a strong relationship with my parents or gave them the time of day. Now that Mom can be confused and controlled, they are ingratiating themselves to her, manipulating her thoughts, and alienating her from the rest of her family. I don't have the financial means to hire an attorney, but my sister and I are co-durable power of attorneys and co-guardians for my mother. My research has taught me that taking the money is elderly coercion and taking items from her that they know have been bequeathed by others is criminal conversion. My Dad would be heart-broken if he knew one of his children was filing criminal charges on their siblings, but if I don't I am convinced the thievery will not end. What should I do?

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Lisa, this is going to eat you alive if you dont take control and do what you know deep in your heart is right. By that i mean you know what your father wanted and to honor that will bring you great peace. If you were to make a list of the items belonging to others that were taken and you have written proof of your fathers wishes in his will regarding these items, then call those who took them, give them a date by which they must be returned or else. Once that date has passed call the police and report them stolen. You may never be able to mend your family ties because greedy people are just never going to change. Your other choice is to just let the material possessions go, forget about them. Protect your mother from herself by having a conversation with her financial institution and have them set things up so she cannot take money out without you present since you are POA and she has mental issues now. They will work with you im sure because they know all to well about financial elder abuse. But my dear you must make your decision and then follow through only then will you be at peace and be able to sleep at night. I truly feel for you. Money makes people act so evil sometimes and for what, life is to short to be consumed by it. Let us know how you are doing. Ruth Anne
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My sister and her son took Mom to her bank and had her withdraw over $17,000.00 from the trust account. My sister then deposited the money into her personal account. When I discovered this I told her the money had to be returned. However, this was not done until after I told her if she didn't return the money I would file charges. Mom still lives in her home. My siblings are telling her they are taking the things for safe keeping so others won't steal them. The dementia is making Mom very paranoid and, as I said before, her "truth" depends on who she is with at the moment. Because of that, my sister won't allow Mom out of her site and time spend with her alone is hard to come by. My siblings are jealous of me and angry that I knew about the trust and wills for several years when they knew nothing of them. Mom and Dad never conferred with me prior to making these documents. They simply informed me when they had. Dad worked so hard to leave his children an in heritance and I feel like we are dishonoring him by the strife and distrust between us. Still, the more I try to turn a blind eye to the shenanigans, the bolder they become and now their children are beginning to take things. My niece and her boyfriend loaded up a 9 piece patio furniture set that Dad had bought Mom before he passed. The niece told her it was so I wouldn't take it. My signature has been on their account for over 20 years and I've never taken a dime. I lived in the same town as my parents for 33 years and could have had anything in their house I asked for, but you won't find one piece of her belongings in my house or that of my childrens. In fact, those things bequeathed to my sibling and their children were not taken. They trust me not to take these things. Only those things bequeathed to my family and a few friends - things they wanted - were taken. I've worried and fretted about this situation for months now and can't find peace about what to do. I'm seldom able to fall asleep at night because everything runs through my mind and all the scenarios that could/should happen. Indecisiveness is not my nature, but deciding what is right and what will honor my parents has perplexed me.
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I did a bit of checking and found that as of 2012 several states have passed bills regarding elder abuse both physical and financial. If the offence is deeded a felony ( which taking her money with out permission would be) they could face a $6000.00 fine and or imprisonment up to 4 years. That should give them something to think about.
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Elderabuse is a very serious crime these days. As others have said contact police and the attorney who took care of fathers will. Then notify siblings of this and you should also bring Adult Protective services. This could end very badly for them.Fines and prison are not uncommon these days as more people try to take advantage of our aging population. Take care of this today!
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It's a crime and should be immediately reported to the police.
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"One sibling moved thousands of dollars from the Trust account to her personal account"

How did this sibling access the Trust account? Was he or she an authorized signatory? I think I'd move very quickly to ensure that no other accounts are available for access.

Are the household items being removed in the house that your mother is living in?

I see from your postings that this was an issue back in July of last year. What steps were taken then, and were they successful or do the problems still exist with the siblings? Were the police brought in?

Even though the items might be intended for the siblings eventually, without your mother's permission it's inappropriate for the siblings to be removing them now.

I think you will have to involve the police, or if the items aren't in the house where your mother is living, change the locks or if you can afford it, move the items to a separate storage unit but don't tell the siblings where the unit is.
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Don't screw around with this. Contact your local senior protection agency and the police. These folks need to be stopped now. If you have control of the money use some funds to get an attorney. Keep clear records of any monies spent on behalf of mom and her estate.

Where is Mom living and how is she being cared for?
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