How to get siblings who live far away to get more involved in their parent's care?

Jazzyjul if you go up to the "Search Site" bar (upper right corner of the screen) and put in "Getting siblings involved" you'll get a long string of comment threads that address your question. It's been asked and answered on here many times, since many of us have had the same issue.

1. Have them call once a week. Give each one an assigned day.
2. Medical crisis: They call 911 for your area. Make sure they have the land line number. Make sure you all have each others' cell number.
3. Cards and letters, pictures of family especially on holidays, monthly. Flowers for Mom, Chocolates for Dad.

Do the siblings want to be more involved, and you are trying to think how that can happen, or are the siblings content to be out of the loop, and you'd like to change their attitude? It does make a difference. Can you explain the situation a little?

Yes, thank you that does make a difference; No, I know because of what happened last year when my sister came up specially to help out and she felt like she was run ragged and that she didn't realize how much care and how demanding that our mother can be when she is in pain. So, no I think she chooses to want to be less involved; she sent flowers to the hospital which was nice and she has been keeping in phone contact the past couple weeks so yes, she seems to be more mindful of what is going on and that this was more serious this time with the cardiac issues and her aging heart. So, maybe this will change a bit and start to get better and her attitude will change, not be in denial about our mother's health issues and frail health.

Is there something specific you'd like your sister to do, from her distance? Sending the flowers was nice. Would Mother enjoy getting a greeting card in the mail? If so, suggest to sister how excited Mom gets when there is mail for her, and ask if Sis could send a few cards each month.

Does she talk to you on the phone, or Mother, or both? You seem to like this. Encourage it by expressing your gratitude.

If you think her attitude is improving (short of actually being willing to physically come and help out), encourage it and gradually ask for additional things that would be helpful to you and/or pleasant to Mother.

I sure wish I had an answer for you. In my situation caring for my mother, I feel like an only child. My only sibling lives in Europe and hasn't seen mom for nearly three years. No amount of requesting help (free plane tickets), telling him how burnt out I am, how much mom misses him, etc. will work. He tells me I need to seek out a church family for support which compounds my angst, i.e. I am not a strong enough Christian in his eyes because I don't attend church.

He does call her weekly for which I'm glad for her sake. Doesn't help me at all in the day to day. I am getting quite resentful and that bothers me that I feel that way.

Just know you are not alone in the absent sibling situation. It's tough on us that are present for our parent's needs.