I can't care for my Mother on weekends and my siblings are forcing me. Any advice?

I would think you should investigate respite care for the weekends you need off, and present them with a done deal. Give them the figures, and tell them that if none of them can come, they need to chip in whatever. Actually, it probably would be better if you let them off the hook, because they won't know your routine and might easily cause problems.

This is coming from someone who was the main caregiver. I was told they (siblings) worked and couldn't do anything during the week. This statement led me to believe they would help on weekends. Rather then just being upfront and honest, there was always an excuse and sometimes they just wouldn't even call to say they were coming. I learned to expect nothing and therefore was not disappointed. Be upfront and honest with what you can and can not do. You can not help in anyway. You can help some weekends. You can help some during the week. I think when everything is in the table, it works out better although not everyone will be happy. P.s. I was told sibling wanted to come and just visit and not help. Ironically, by this point my mom could hardly speak a few words.

They can't force you to take care of her. If you can't do it any weekend, then I would explain that I can't do it any weekend. Perhaps you could do it two weekends per year, if that would work with you caring for your disabled child. Your primary responsibility is your disabled child.

I would suggest they look for weekend care to come in and do what you have been doing. I would give them a deadline to find alternate care. I wouldn't just stop without providing them sufficient time to make other arrangements.

This might be a time to discuss placing your mom somewhere that she might get round the clock care. Depending on her condition, maybe they could arrange for her to stay at a facility on the weekends. For some seniors, sick or dementia patients, that moving back and forth might be too disruptive. Still, you have to do what you have to do to keep her safe.

Just say no. They are not putting a weapon to your head. Notify them that you will not take care of mom XX weekend and YY weekend and refuse to discuss it. They brow beat you and you give in. "i can't that weekend, i have plans" and no discussion about the plans or anything. Just do it.