Siblings fighting over which memory care center for Mom. We are fortunate to find a few good MC centers but concerned over funds. Advice?

Yours and your siblings main concern at this point should be, what's in the best interest of your mom, and not the family inheritance. If one of the places is more convenient for the family to be able to visit, that sounds like a win win to me, as she will appreciate your visits for sure. Her money should allow her the best care possible, as it's her money. And if there is no money left when it's all said and done, well so be it. You and your family can rest in the knowledge that your mom was well cared for in her final years. That should be all of yours number one concern.

My Mom's healthy as a horse too, with family that lives into ther mid to late 90's on the female side especially. Doesn't dementia stink? People try to live healthily to live longer but our bodies aren't engineered for it, and at the end of the road is the higher risk of developing some kind of late-onset dementia.
I am HCPOA, and Mom moved in with me at age 90 about a year ago when the wheels fell off the bus & covid was a concern. In February she moved into a dementia-focused AL. I was the one picking the facility and worrying that she'd outlive her savings (oh, the cost comparative spreadsheet I made!), but at the end of the day it's her money still and the burden lies on the POA's to use her resources to act in her best interest.
As a family we agreed to make the best selection for Mom's current needs and if the money gets spent down then it's the Medicare route for Mom.
Quite honestly, if the reluctant sibling chooses to be obstructive because they want to save an inheritance, then they should be offering to take care of mom at the same level that the MC can supply. Meanwhile you're in limbo while they push back but aren't part of a solution and you're...fried, right? Exhausted?
You and POA have the right and duty to do what's in your mom's best interests, so do it. I bet your mom picked you guys for a reason...:)

This is why the POA makes the final decision. Inheritances do not exist until someone is dead, so the greedy sibling is fighting over money that simply isn't theirs to fight over.

Mom gets what Mom needs with MOM'S (not anyone's inheritance) money.

If it makes the greedy sibling any happier, my mother has been in a nursing home for 2 1/2 years at between $8900 and $12,000/month. Her money has been well-invested (by me), and she is worth more now than she was when she went in.

Focus on good investing of Mom's funds, and Mom can have what she needs and Greedy McGreedpants may have a windfall at the end, too.

Money is often the cause of family conflict. I've witnessed in support groups some knock-down, drag-out battles within families about one sibling's greed for inheritance and the other's concerns for mom's care. In your short post you've already described 2 reasons for seeking a “better” place for your mom. I say better because I know you're giving her the best care that you can, but at this point she needs more than you can offer.

Reason #1: That fact that she takes a mile walk at her age is fantastic. But those walks can turn into a nightmare if she forgets how to get home. And what if she looses track of time and decides to take one of those walks at 2 AM? Wandering is a major reason why caregivers place their LOs in a care facility.

Reason #2: You're not getting the rest you need. Sleeplessness by the caregiver is another major reason for placement. At times my wife would be able to stay awake for a entire day and night. She had no regular sleeping patterns anymore. The early morning hours can be very dangerous for your mom. Like my wife, she may decide to get dressed and get her day started at 1 AM and leave the house ( back to wandering).

As her POA, you not only have the right to make decisions on her behalf, you have the responsibility and authority to make those tough decisions. So tell the self centered sibling that mom's needs come before any inheritance, and do what is best for her and yourself.

I am an only child who's been managing 'my $400K inheritance' for the past 7 years. I am calling it 'my $400 inheritance' in quotes b/c it's NOT my inheritance. It's my parent's money that they've worked hard for their entire lives and signed over to me to manage FOR them when they lost their ability to do so themselves. At that time, I could have pocketed the funds and moved them into my home to take over their care myself. Or, I could have placed them in Assisted Living where they would get GOOD quality care 24/7, which is what I did. Dad died a year later and my mother is now 94+ and living in Memory Care AL which costs upwards of $7K per month after it's all said and done. I'm STILL using HER money, or 'my inheritance', to pay for her dementia care in MC until her money runs out. At which time I will apply for Medicaid to finance her care in Skilled Nursing.

That's what I have to say about inheritances before they're actually inheritances. How dare 'children' even discuss such a thing or decide how their parents should be taken care of based on the inheritance they will or will not get as a result?

Disgusting.

Your 'one sibling' who's so worried about 'his inheritance' should be doing ALL the 24/7 caregiving for your mother who's suffering from dementia, all alone, with NO HELP at ALL. ONLY then will he begin to understand what you've been going through all this time and what a Godsend Memory Care AL really is. He'd gladly give up 'his inheritance' in a heartbeat if he was saddled with this task, I guarantee it. It's really really easy to have his attitude while doing NOTHING in the caregiving department, or having no responsibilities for his mother's daily care and management.

Drop mother off on his porch for a week and then ask him what he'd like to do next.

Wishing you the best of luck getting everyone to make the RIGHT decision for your mother's care moving forward.

The decision ultimately rests with the one with POA.
Personally I would select the one that...
At this point provides the best care
Next would be proximity to family
Since you are primary caregivers I would think the facility that can make her a resident as soon as possible would be on the list as priority.
Tactfully, gently remind sibling that is concerned with inheritance that the money mom and dad saved was saved for "their golden years, their retirement, their care" as the main goal for saving. That is what her money should be used for.
Sibling can save for her or his "golden years, retirement, care" just as mom and dad did. An inheritance is not guaranteed....

Have you asked the inheritance seeking sibling if they want to take mom to live with them? That would save the money for inheritance. If not, the rest of you just have to do what is best for mom & you.

Reading all of this makes me realize just how lucky I am. My sibs and I do not always agree but we are committed to the best care for our mom and find a way to reach a consensus . We recently had to make the move from asst living to memory care. It was hard and ended up requiring a move for her to a completely different town and transferring care decisions to a different sib. I really don’t understand why the in laws have any in put at all beyond an opinion if asked for. Kids make these choice for their parents not their spouses.

This is where the POA steps in. Mom needs care and her Dementia will only worsen. You no longer can care for her. So the POA now makes the decision. Thats why they are POA. Moms money needs to be spent down. Once that is done then Medicaid needs to be applied for. MCs are usually private pay but your State may pay for it. If not, then Mom will need to go to Long term care. There comes a time anyway, were MC is not enough.

Its not fair that siblings want to hold onto the money for inheritance sake when one sibling is doing the caring and its effecting their health and lives. Tell the POA that you can no longer do the caring and he/she has the power to place Mom.

Who has the Power of Attorney? That is the person or persons who makes the decision.