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I come from a dysfunctional family, with an alcoholic and abusive father and a mother with schizophrenia. I migrated to NZ, 30 years ago, and helped my siblings to migrate and establish. I have been the lead person of my family, although I am the fourth of six children. Now, all of us are adults and well off (better than average Aussie or NZers). Since late 1990s, I have been caring for my parents. Initially, I bought them a house and they lived there. Then, when, my father became less helpful to my mother, I had them in my (self contained) rumpus room. Around 2010, I was diagnosed with cancer and had to undergo two sets of treatments over five years. During that time, I asked my baby brother (14 years younger to me) to take care of them. All my other siblings were overseas and didn't help. My baby brother, wife and his mother-in-law neglected and abused my mother (my father has never been much help) including isolating her for days and not providing proper meals for days. The rest of my siblings did nothing, while paying lip service. When I recovered from cancer in 2015, I bought an (old people) unit for my parents, with minor financial contribution from two of my brothers. My family took advantage of my good intentions - including demanding a share of the ownership (although their contribution was negligible $15k out of $160k) and using the unit as their accommodation when they visit NZ. Then, four of my siblings ganged up and put my mother in the rest home, while without adequately consulting with me and another brother. Then, I sold the unit and evicted my father (as my father will ruin the unit). During that time, lots of rude words were exchanged between me and my siblings, including I having to order two my sisters out of my house. Now my siblings and father wouldn't communicate with me. What should I do? Should I wait for them to come to terms with what they did and see my point of view? (My siblings are pretty stubborn bunch, they may not make the first move ever.) Or should I approach them to rebuild relationship again.

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If you are really mourning the loss of your family you can start to reach out with holiday and birthday greetings via post and email - cordial but distant - and see where it goes from there. You will need to set some very firm boundaries about how far you want things to progress though so that you don't one day find yourself sucked back repeating the same old patterns of the family dysfunction.
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Nah, reading through your passage again, I would not try again. I would wash hands and move on.
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I washed my hands of my twisted sisters. Do not need their drama in my life after providing care for four years. It was too much of my energy expended to even try to understand. I will not open that door again and I am better off for it.
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Rovana

Thank you for your response. My preference is to maintain cordial relationship, simply visiting each other and sharing some time together. But, I do not want to be "used" again.
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What sort of relationship do YOU want going forward? Frankly if my sibs treated me like that I would not apologize or try to mend the relationship (imo you have done nothing to apologize for, quite the contrary) and just leave them to sort themselves out. Maybe they will, maybe they won't, but I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. I'd be glad of the distance.
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