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My siblings are demanding a copy of my power of attorney and the will, the arrangement I have with my alzheimer's father before onset. They do not trust or respect me and criticize every decision I make, even though they are not available. Must I send them a copy of these? I am happy to give them a copy of the bank statements to show I am honest with the estate.

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Thank you all very much for the answers, makes me feel reassured and not alone in this kind of experience!
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I concur with the above. Never show the will. Show the POA if you want. And, don't share bank statements.

If I were to let my brothers in on what my mother has, they would spend the rest of her days trying to get their hands on it, not realizing, of course, that it might not be enough to carry her through her days.
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Keep the will confidential. If your father wants to show it to them he can. You cannot without his authorization.

You don't have to show the POA document, but why wouldn't you want to do that? It should convince them that you have the authority you claim.

Financial statements? Again, you don't have to, and if father doesn't want you to you can't. Personally I would not go to the trouble to share them. Do keep excellent records. Do spend Dad's money only for his care.

Also, if Dad is paying you for any of your services (are you doing any caregiving?) you should have a written agreement spelling out what you are providing and what he is paying.
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You may not provide your siblings with a copy of your father's will while your father is still alive unless you have your father's instruction to do so. Your siblings can pipe down.

Your power of attorney: why not give them a copy?

Your handling of your father's finances: well, you are accountable, but not necessarily to your siblings. It's a tricky area, because although you might be happy to be transparent with them, financial matters are in general considered confidential and you can't go blabbing about your father's money to everyone.

Bank statements are confidential, let's start there. They can't have them.

But, if you're reasonably sure that your father would have had no objection, you could create a summary report explaining income, outgoings and funds remaining; and tell them if they have any specific questions let's hear 'em.

The important thing is to get these backseat drivers out of your ear. They are the *last* thing you need. Whatever is the fastest and most effective method of doing that is what you want.

Of course, unless your POA instructions say otherwise, you could always tell them to go and beep themselves..?
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