Later, when Mom is asked what the check was for, she doesn't remember. This is the situation in our family. I have two sisters; Mom is an 88-year-old widow. I do the bulk of the errands, doctor visits, chores, etc., as I live nearby. Another sister comes every other weekend and does food shopping and errands as well. The third sister has hardly done a thing in 4 years. Now she has offered Mom to pay her bills. My other sister and I know that she and her family are in financial difficulty. Also, Mom is paying her for helping, when she's not paying either of us for our (equally valuable) help. When I looked in the check register last night, I noticed that my sister had made out a check to herself for $230 as well as one for her $50 "fee." Mom did not remember what the larger check was for. How do we get our sister to be transparent about what she is doing? We all have equal POAs. How on earth are we goint to conduct ourselves when Mom becomes less competent if we're doing such an inept job now. I would love to have some suggestions!