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When I ask my mom about gifting me money or "lending" me some money...she gets all flustered and says she doesn't want to talk about it. I do get monthly account balances of her accounts...My other siblings don't care but I do. My sister-in-law acts like I am a piece of ****. It has made our family fall apart.

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Your mother and her POA have the right not to lend of gift you some money. If you get the monthly bank balances, I don't understand what you mean about your brother being secretive about the finances.
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