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Has not been involved or cognizant of the daily and weekly details, has now decided to take over, w new partner,, without any consultation as to current care needs. Is causing confusion and distress. Am I upset that I have not been consulted (I have arranged all care since learning of dementia 1 - 2 years ago) or am I more knowledgeable about needs and how to watch for parent's happiness? How do we develop an offical care plan w parent now, if everyone thinks they know best? I was about to bring in a nurse to do an in-home assessment (parent still lives at home), thoughts?

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We each have POA. I have been the primary to arrange care and be there if no one else is, and to visit. Yes, it is time consuming, stressful and challenging, and I was at the point of bring in an assesment, care manager and consider next steps (beyond the weekly day program and am and pm aides). I don't want to step back immediately as it is not just a sibling, but sibling's partner, who is new to the family, calling the shots. Doesn't sit well w me or seem right to move so quick w a. Ew person in charge of the care plan.
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Who has been designated her Durable Power of Attorney and Healthcare POA? If there isn't one, is she still capable to sign one? You may need to consult with an Elder Law attorney in your jurisdiction for advice on how to get those things.

Do you live with your mom? Have you been the caregiver from the last 1-2 years. Does your sibling disapprove of what you have been doing? Is that why they have stepped in? I might ask them and see if we both could agree on what should be done. Still, if neither of you have POA, you may difficulty handling her affairs.

Gathering information about the options and having the assessment done sounds like a good start. I might share that with the sibling and get their input. If you are not named the POA, is there some reason you don't want to step back and let sibling take up the responsibilities for a while. It's very time consuming, stressful and challenging. I would think there is enough for each child to share the responsibilities.
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