My mom was living in horrible (really nasty) conditions at my nephews basement. She was also being ignored and taken advantage of financially.Over a 3-year period, she received over $100,000 in SS payments, but her bank account only increased by $600. My brother and I decided to move her to my home.
I have expressed to all 4 of my siblings that I NEED them to take our mom for "just one day" just to give me a break. Everyone said they would, but no one has in 5 months. My mom is incontinent, my house always smells like pee even tho she is wearing pullups now, I do her laundry, clean up after her, cook, buy groceries, help her in and out of the shower, etc. She makes noises when she moves like she hurts, but says she doesn't and won't go to a doctor.
My brother also said he and mom were going to open a savings acct where he would deposit his house payments to her, and he wanted me to put my name on the acct so that it would take 3 signatures to take any money out. In less than 5 months of living with me her original account has more than doubled, and the money in the new savings acct has not been touched, so it is increasing rapidly. My brother then told me that whenever mom passes the savings would be mine for taking care of mom. I said I wasn't comfortable with that, as it would be a large sum. Since my telling my other siblings of the new acct, one sibling has been screaming that HER name should be on the new acct., too. I explained to her that the acct was for any emergency that may arise regarding mom, and that she is almost impossible to contact (they travel a lot) in case we needed her signature.
This sibling visited me and mom a month ago for less than one day. She took mom to lunch (mom paid), and she took mom to the bank and tried to get mom to put her name on her account! Mom refused. My sibling brought mom home and left.
NOW, this sibling is accusing me of not doing anything for mom. She is saying mom's sheets needed washed, her bathroom needed cleaned, and that she didn't see that mom was any trouble for me at all! She is saying mom can do everything for herself and that I am lying. These are only a few of the many accusations. Still screaming about the savings acct, and saying I'm "controlling mom's money so I'll get it all, " she says she'll take mom for a month and make her be more active, make her go to a doctor, cook and clean, etc. Mom does not want to go.
I'm concerned about these accusations and what problems could arise from them. I'm at a very high stress level with all I have to do and going to college at age 52 to be a nurse. Do I ignore my sibling? Do I respond? What happens with either scenario?