Sibling said can't provide care, now removing parent from nursing home. I'm thinking guardianship?

I read your last post explaining that Dad was in the hospital and then sent to rehab to monitor his low blood sugar. Diabetes is very tricky. Some people become brittle diabetics where keeping in within good numbers is very hard. He must eat right and have his medications on time. By monitoring him in rehab, they will find out what medication and dose if medication works for him. It sounds to me that whoever is caring for him may need some training themselves. They should see the signs when meds are not working or not being taken correctly.

Medicare pays for rehab. The first 20days 100%, next 80 days 50%. The patient usually pays the other half at maybe $160 a day. Unless they have a good supplimental that will pick up the rest. Medicare does not pay after 100 days. It then becomes private pay.

Dad could have been evaluated for 24/7 care. If found he needed it, he could have been transferred to a Skilled Nursing unit. Either private paying at maybe 10k a month or applying for Medicaid and then there's a criteria that has to be met. So someone made the decision to bring him home.

Looks like as the youngest you have no controll here. All you can do is look for changes in him. He now has been to rehab and its documented how he was when leaving their care. If you see a decline when he comes home, then call APS. He is already on their radar. Its either he is not taking meds correctly or not eating right or both. Or, his caregiver is not making sure he is taking his meds correctly and feeding him correctly.

Guardianship is very expensive. And time consuming. I doubt if you would get it right away.

If you have a copy of the medical affidavit you have a better chance at guardianship. But a fight will be costly and whomever wins gets to pay the cost out of your father's monies, while the other person pays their own costs in most states. I agree with those who feel that the siblings who initially took on the care have the best chance to keep the elder in their care, and unless there was already an APS file on abusive care, there is no leg to stand on, especially when the father wishes to "go home" which is now with the other siblings.
I am sorry for this grief, but I am afraid that there is little you can do about it.

I don't know the backstory or quality of relationship with your sibling but if guardianship is not a good option, is "being helpful" to your sibling in caring for your father a more viable option? "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"? This way you can provide education to your sibling, your father gets better care and you can have some knowledge and peace regarding your dad's situation. Come together for your dad's sake and work with what is the current reality. I hope it goes better for all of you!

I spoke with his primary doctor and he was not put in to monitor his sugar, he was put in because sibling said she could no longer care for father at home.

They have had sibling under training - I got a few of the calls back then because they could not reach my sibling. They are calling it skilled nursing now and not rehab. Father has Medicaid and Medicare.

The live-in sibling signed father in and is now the one getting ready to sign him out. Nursing home said sibling that signed him in was the only one that could sign him out. Medicaid waiver worker was the one that let me know yesterday that sibling plans to sign him out nursing home.

Answry, the situation with your dad and siblings appears to be very complicated, quite a bit like mine was, and I feel your pain and frustration. Because it’s impossible for me to know all of the complicated history and nuances, it’s hard to give specific advice. That said, as general advice, and assuming you truly believe your dad will be needlessly and recklessly endangered by his living and caregiving situation at home with your sibling, then you should do something about it. I like all three of the answers you’ve gotten so far, especially Geaton777’s advice to help your sibling more in order to “keep your enemy closer” (but do try to not think of a caregiving sibling as your enemy). By helping more with your dad’s day-to-day care, you may be able to prevent the need for APS to be called again and if it becomes necessary for a guardianship appointment, you will be in a much better position for that next step.
 
But, just as I was about to post this reply, I saw your reply to Geaton777, which reminded me to add, again as general advice, that you should try to have a family meeting with a professional mediator (or maybe a lay clergy person) to discuss everything. I’ve read that such meetings often help, it’s certainly worth trying. FYI, it happened not to help our family, as my request for a meeting with my 7 siblings was ignored by those whom were causing problems.
 
A final FYI, I can attest to the fact that hands-on caregivers are viewed favorably by guardianship courts because I, as my dad’s caregiver in my home, was appointed as his guardian and conservator even though his living will (in his trust package) said that each of my three sisters (in priority succession) were to be his guardian if he ever needed one. The guardianship judge did not consider them to be viable guardians for my dad and he personally thanked me for the care my wife and I were giving my dad. Of course, the judge will also take into consideration any history of APS involvement with caregivers.

Best wishes for you, your dad and your caregiving siblings during this hard time.

Thanks everyone for your responses! I'm just saddened. I had made peace that I'd never have to turn and go in that direction again let along set foot in that home. My siblings are not nice people. I know it's about the money ending this month. I've seen the unpaid bills and gotten calls but I didn't let it concern me because father was not there and it wasn't my business.

Since sibling didn't want our father back home and he was having a hard time adjusting, I had found him a home in our neighborhood (one home down) and was prepared to become his primary again along with getting him help from outside agencies, that's how I learned the decision had changed.

I didn't make the APS report this last time.

You can absolutely have a neutral third party appointed as guardian. However, it can be a very long and very expensive process. Just depends on the fight your siblings will put forth.

Answry, after seeing your reply to JoAnn29, I can almost feel your tiredness, as I, too, was frustrated and tired of troublesome siblings. What made me not give up being my dad's advocate, then full-time caregiver and, ultimately, becoming his legal guardian was determination to remain focused on his well-being while trying to ignore some siblings' constant questioning of current costs and long-term planning for how to cover future costs.
 
Although our family was able to work together in caring for our mom with pulmonary fibrosis, after she died we lost that cohesiveness in caring for our dad with Alzheimers and I'm not sure why -- maybe just tiredness, maybe frustration with dementia, and/or maybe some were looking more for an inheritance than for our dad's well-being, I don't know.  Before my wife and I moved my dad into our home, I, too, had to at least threaten some siblings about what APS would do if what was going on became known by APS.  In any event, it was hard and tiring being a 24-7 caregiver, bill payer, transporter, medical decision-maker and long-term planner, all while being constantly questioned by some, not all, siblings who were going on cruises, etc. instead of helping our dad or even supporting my wife and I as our lives were being completely dismantled by the care my dad required.
 
Your situation reminds me a lot of what mine was like, yet it's also different, as everyone's is, so it's hard to give specific advice. That said, try to stay focused on how you can best help your dad survive as well as he can during this hard time of his life and if that means petitioning for guardianship of him, then so be it. That's what I had to do and I have no regrets for doing it, but the necessity of it also either fractured or exposed existing fractures in relationships with some of my siblings. Again, best wishes for your dad, you and your family during this hard time.

Is it normal for the nursing home to be saying dad can walk but then when we asked him to go from his wheelchair to the rocking chair this weekend, he could not lift himself. It took two of us in my family to help him - he was frighten, (don’t turn lose, don’t turn lose – so now I know where the scar on his leg came from a week ago – I believe there may have been a fall). I mean wouldn't move his limbs and we had to do the moving.

So why is nursing therapy staff telling us he is getting therapy and can walk with a walker but every time we visit they are rolling him in a wheelchair and not allowing him to do even that part to keep some strength?

In fact, majority of patients are being wheeled around – an aunt believe this is norm for patients to not be allowed to walk due to limited staff possibly or a doctor's order.

While dad is doing much better, another concern is that at every visit, I bring him something to eat but then when I go to give him food, there is already leftover food in his mouth. This part concerns me and I would hate for him to end up with additional lung issues.

I’m trying not to say anything because I am not the one that placed him in the nursing home and is not considered the person of contact. According to nursing home, only the person of contact can make decisions including signing him out.

Thanks for helping! I just want some facts before stating my concerns. And other family members plan to have a family meeting soon.

I wanted to move dad into our home but spouse wouldn't agree but he is willing to help if we could get him into a rental home or another nursing home in our area. It takes us an hour now to visit. I still believe guardianship would be need.