This is how it is. My Mother has dementia, my husband has dementia but not as bad as Mom. I have a job and I am disabled. We don't have much money. She lives alone about a mile from me. She is in her late 80's. Mom has dementia pretty bad and has someone coming into the home seven days a week to take care of her. Mom can feed herself, dress herself, toilet herself, bathe herself etc. She doesn't want this new caregiver either. She says she can do all this herself. She doesn't drive anymore. It's just that Mom is very, very cranky, stubborn, and crabby, irritable etc. No one can do anything right. She has run off scads of caregivers. She won't even go visit an ALF. And sister encourages her to live alone but asks me to help keep mom at home. I feel like I am enabling them. Mom's memory is very bad. Here is the real problem. I feel guilty that I don't spend more time with Mom and do more for her. I call her 2 times a week and go visit once a week. Each time I visit, I get yelled at. If I take her places, she yells at me when we are there. All Mom's friends have dropped her or died so no one visits. Her neighbors avoid her bc she is so cranky and yells at them. Yet I go because she is my Mother and I love her. But I don't want to be yelled at, screamed at. But then I feel guilty bc I don't do more for her. After I get through working and taking care of hubby, and taking care of my home, cooking, etc. I am exhausted. Sister won't hear of letting the council on aging hear about this and has forbid me to contact anyone. Sister also says no pills for the dementia etc. She is running the show but wants me to do things for Mom. Frankly I am too exhausted to rock the boat, let her do the thinking. But Mom is a human being and she was there for me. So I am torn, feel guilt but don't want to be yelled at. What should I do?