Sibling rights; are all siblings entitled to see the trust documents and be part of the decision making process?

Being an executor only comes into play once a person has passed away. The power of attorney is applicable for a living person. The POA is not required (although many will for harmony's sake) to update siblings, etc. on the status of trust or anything else. What decisions does your wife feel like she is entitled to be a part of?

Has your wife ever seen the will or trust? Does she have a copy? I ask because some POAs change wills etc to make themselves richer in this world.
I would have your wife contact the care home, I would travel the 1000 miles to do it face to face, get someone of authority in the room and ask dad if it is okay that the care home give you information about him and how he is doing. That way they have his verbal permission and can share otherwise protected information. Be sure and record the conversation so that there is proof that he said okay.

Is there family issues that would cause the sister with POA to not share how dad is doing? Maybe a phone call or visit when she goes to see dad could help get things straightened out.

In a word, No. Often the POA has the responsibility to keep information confidential. Other family members are not entitled to updates or document copies. Often the POA will share information with siblings, if the parent approves. But there is no legal requirement to do so. Other family members are not entitled to participate in decision making about the parent.

This is so sad. I always felt my POA was to help Mom not alienate my brothers. I feel if they wanted to know how the money was being spent they had a right to know. Neither have ever asked because they trust my decisions. I have kept records just in case someone does question where the money went. I still don't understand how a POA can change a will. I would think the person would have to be there to make changes and a lawyer should see there is a problem with them. No, don't think your entitled to know what is in the will either is the POA unless, like me, I was present at the time. Trusts, same thing. You find out that when the will is probated.

I am both the POA, and executor. The attorney explained the trust and will to me, but said I couldn't have a copy as long as my father is alive.

Different rules different places. I do not have a trust or a testamentary trust set up in my will. My brother and sil are joint POA ($ and health) and joint Executors of my will. They have a copy of all the documents, I have a copy and the lawyer has the third registered copy.

So if the trust comes into effect after death, I do not think there is a mandatory reason for it to be shared, it can be a good idea to share it so there are no surprises.

"My wife has requested to be kept apprised of both his care and financial decisions"



Be careful that it doesn't come across as being more interested in the financial aspect than the care aspect. Legally, you are not entitled to information until he dies. And it puts an additional burden on the POA to provide this info. But, if you suspect that either the person or the finances are being abused, you can hire an attorney to file legal documents (in court) to require proof. It's not generally the best course unless you really suspect bad faith on the part of the POA.