Older sibling, lives out of town. Only comes to town for financial info, nothing else. Advice? - AgingCare.com

Older sibling, lives out of town. Only comes to town for financial info, nothing else. Advice?

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What do you do when the sibling that doesn't want to help and rarely comes to town. Only comes to town to take over your Parents finances??? It is so strange how they will not tell her no. It's like they are afraid of hurting her feelings.

My Parents are both 87 and my middle sister past away last year. The oldest sibling will not come home for Christmas, Easter or any other events that are difficult for my Parents in light of this loss.

She has told her friends who have told me, she can't come home the memories are too difficult and yet she shows up with a mission to "get" Mom and Dad benefits. Which just happens to mean she will have access to all their financial information.

Her intensitiy tells me she has some ulterior motive. My Father will not allow me to talk to him about this. My Mother knows, however, she says Dad will not allow her to tell him either. I feel so helpless and so unappreciated for all I do. They tell me they couldn't survive without me and yet when this "out of state" sibling comes in town, everything is my fault and she can do no wrong.

I've asked them to leave me out of this and yet she always has some way of giving me orders to get her information. She tells Mom & Dad, I'm the problem and has them call me to get information. Since I can't talk to Dad, I just feel like I need to pull away.

She started pushing about their money abour 3 months ago and I'm pretty sure when she gets what she wants she will go back out of state, where she lives. She has no commitments that she has to return for. She just doesn't want to help.

I feel so helpless and sorta wish I could be as cold to Mom & Dad's needs as she is. It almost seems like they would treat me wish more respect.

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I suspect that she will leave whether I'm back or not! Her only real interest is in the money. The only doctor's appointment that was happening while she was in town, they cancelled. I did call the doctor's office to make sure Mom made it, initially the doctor's office thought they had just been a "no show". Very frustrating because that appointment was hard to get. Anyway bottom line the dr called them and they got them in today (a day late)

My sister will have no problem leaving Mom & Dad alone. I'm thinking after being gone a few days, they won't notice that I've slipped back into town. I'm not going to call them. Just don't have the money for these hotel rooms :(

That said, I'd like your suggestion if my Sister would stay!!!!
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STAY out of town for at least a week and let sis enjoy the floor show. She might beg to come stay with you in a hotel after that.
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She gets Dad and Mom to call and try to get me involved. I'm out of town now spending money I don't have on a hotel, just to be out of reach.

It hurts me so bad that Mom and Dad allow this to happen!
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The local child always gets the blame and the visiting child is welcomed like visiting royalty. Yes, leave yourself out of it. Let her come to town and get it herself.
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