I feel that my brother, who is our mother's financial POA, has an interest in her finances. What can I do? - AgingCare.com

I feel that my brother, who is our mother's financial POA, has an interest in her finances. What can I do?

Follow
Share

I CANNOT PROVE IT BUT EVERYTIME WE DISCUSS GETTING HELP FOR MY MOM, WHO HAS DEMENTIA, POST HEAD SURGERY & LIVING ALONE, HE ALWAYS DISAGREES. I HAVE MED POA FOR OUR MOM, & EVERSINCE SHE GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL 6 MTHS AGO, I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TALK HIM INTO GETTING HER HELP PER HER DR'S WRITTEN ADVICE. HE KEPT SAYING MOM DOESN'T WANT & NEED HELP OR THERE'S NOT ENOUGH MONEY. SO I TOLD HIM TO SELL OR REVERSE MORTGAGE HER HOUSE. HE OPENLY TOLD ME THAT HE WANTS HER HOUSE. HE THEN SUGGESTED HE WOULD MOVE-IN & TAKE CARE OF HER INSTEAD. ITS A GOOD IDEA. HOWEVER I DON'T TRUST HIM TO DO A GOOD JOB. 1ST, HIS WORK & CONDO IS IN L.A. & SHE'S IN SAN FRANCISCO. HE MIGHT LEAVE HER ALONE TO GO TO L.A. 2ND, HE LIVE'S LIKE A PIG. HE CAN'T EVEN CLEAN HIS OWN CONDO. I LIVE FAR AWAY. IF HE NEGLECTS OR ABUSE HER, I WOULDN'T KNOW. SHOULD I LET HIM TAKE CARE OF HER ANYWAY SINCE MY MOM DOESN'T WANT ANY HELP? IM DESPERATE. I NEED SPECIFIC ANSWERS AS TO WHAT TO DO, WHO TO CONTACT (WITHOUT DESTROYING OUR RELATIONSHIPS) OR WHERE TO GO.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
3

Answers

Show:
Umm. This is an universal problem, I've been told. One sibling takes over and the others disagree with the handling of the POA, whether it be Financial or Durable or Medical. I really don't know what to say. Seek wise counsel on this issue.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree, you need to find a disinterested third party to ask these questions for themselves about your brother. A family member that he respects, or if it comes down to it talk to a lawyer and get some answers. What is your legal obligation as your mom's DPOA? How much leverage do you actually have? Start asking and see what turns up. Someone has got to know something.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Romada don't really know what to advise you on this difficult situation. Do you have any other siblings? Or perhaps you have Aunts/Uncles on your Mom's side that could act as mediators. If your Mom insists that she doesn't need any help and goes along with your brother then your hands are effectively tied until he makes a mess of taking care of her and you are left to pick up the pieces. You need at least to tell someone in the family of your worries about what will happen.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions